FBI Officials have released information that restaurant chain “Buffalo Wild Wings” has been indicted on charges of fixing professional sports games in at least three major leagues.

For
the past three years, “Wild Wings” has been using its resources to prevent
games from ending early and pushing them into overtime or extra innings.
Elongating games allows customers to spend more money on beer and wings, thus
increasing corporate profit.

FBI agent Stan Helinski first discovered the illegal biddings one night early last
October. Mr. Helinski was quoted saying “I was yearning for some delicious
wings in my hometown of Pittsburgh so I decided to go to”Wild Wings.’” Helinski said the night
was like any other he’s seen at the bar/grill. A group of rowdy fans supporting
their favorite ambiguous football team enjoyed food and beer as a close game
appeared on screens around the room. Near the end of the game, the fan favorite
team scored a touchdown that was then challenged. But something strange
happened when the referee went over to the booth to view the footage. Helinski
says:

When
his face was in the viewing booth, a camera inside the booth must have relayed
the image to televisions around the restaurant. I’ve never seen this before.
Then I hear his voice asking what we, the customers, wanted him to call. We
were in direct communication with him. The crowd unanimously pleaded for him to
call back the touchdown, making the game go into overtime. At first I was
confused why such die-hard fans wanted their team to potentially lose the game
in overtime. After that, I realized that I was seeing a game fixed before my
eyes.

Besides
referees, “Buffalo Wild Wings” also communicates with tee shirt vendors,
photographers, and grounds crews. These seemingly innocent workers have been
responsible for putting over thirty professional sports games into
overtime/extra innings in the last three years. In one harrowing case, a
baseball manager even blew a game by putting in his worst relief pitcher. When
asked for a quote, the manager for the ambiguous team said, “I do what my fans
want, and if that means sacrificing a win for an extra hour of wings and beer,
then I’ll do that.”

FBI
agents regret not finding out about this earlier. “The signs were unmistakable
and hard to miss. I mean, they signed an endorsement deal with Tim Donaghy!”
says Helinski.

In
an official statement, Company founder, James Disbrow, states he has no
regrets. “It was about five years ago that I realized these people came for the
sports and strictly the sports. Team alliances did not matter, simply the
longest games possible. And we intended to profit off of those weirdoes.

Disbrow
says, “Do not be surprised if we get out of this situation. Sports aren’t the
only events under our thumb. Ever wonder how OJ Simpson was found innocent?”