The Williams Building on the East side of campus had an air
of tension today after a literature teacher was seen storming out of the building
screaming profanities left and right. 

“I was just studying and all of a sudden some crazy bitch comes barreling down
the hall and I’m like, what the hell man?! No respect,” states  a junior who was studying for an exam near the
class next door.

The event of this frustration occurred at around 10 o’clock
this morning when a student allegedly told his teacher that her class “is not
the end-all be-all of my classes. I have others you know”¦ four others, in fact.
I can’t ignore them all for all of the work load for this, especially since it’s
my elective.”

Many students in her class reported to be overwhelmed,
frustrated and state that she has always been a little bizarre.

“She told me I couldn’t attend my father’s funeral because I
would miss the world’s most important lecture on Poe, whom she stated was
better at making people feel sorry anyway,” said a sophomore. “Obviously I went,
but she took off an entire letter grade for not reading the 3 assigned books,
two thesis papers and literary response while I was home.  Sometimes I’ll see her across campus and she’ll
give me the stink eye”¦ I think she even hissed at me once.”

Students who know her are advised to avoid eye contact, and
it is reported that evaluations are pending in the English department regarding
her job after this recent nutcase activity toward students.