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Denice Cassaro Drunk Emails Freshmen; Students Actually Read Them
Early Sunday morning, Denice Cassaro sent a slew of inflammatory and stream-of-consciousness emails to the Cornell Community. In these messages, she insulted various student groups, boasted about her sexual conquests, and reflected upon her purpose in life, all in her trademark colorful writing style. Her first e-mail, sent at 2:33am, read as follows: *******Mah–Jong and... MORE »
No Spring Maintenance….
After last Friday’s 85-degree weather, it appears that Cornell University has used all of its spring maintenance funding on keeping the Lake Effects snow out of the forecast, not accounting for the shocking, yet annual, mid-April snow and sleet storm. While on a campus tour this morning, a pre-frosh was overheard stating “well, it can... MORE »
New Women’s Dorm Named After Psychology Professor
Cornell recently announced that a new women’s dorm, similar to Balch Hall, will be built in 2013 to accommodate the increasing amount of women attending the university. Half of the intramural fields are being zoned off for construction and they plan to break ground in June of 2013. The university would not release the name... MORE »
3 Policies Cornell Should Adopt Right Now
As I’ve not so subtly pointed out before, I personally believe that some of the University’s recently approved policies may have been thrown together just a bit quickly in an attempt to make the administration appear more responsible or relevant, without a ton of thought given to the actual problems at hand. For example,... MORE »
Dobby the House Elf Will Hold Town-Hall Forum at Lynah Rink
Dobby the House Elf, the magical creature from the Harry Potter franchise whose cuteness and silly way of talking has drawn the adoration of college student nationwide, will speak at Cornell’s Lynah Rink on April 19, according to Cornell House-Elf Liberation Front Chair Seamus Shacklebolt, ’13. Dobby is planning to attend rallies on 30 college... MORE »
Hunger Games At Cornell: Which College Will Win?
Ezra Cornell was actually a pretty twisted President. When he founded Cornell he also said that at the 147th (arbitrary number chosen similar practice done by the Mayans for their calendars) Commencement, rather than have the standard “all rise and all sit, congratulations you’ve graduated” at the ceremony, all 4 state colleges will have a... MORE »
Amanda Bynes Arrested for DUI
According to Cornell Law Professor Gold, at the close of the trial the dancing lobsters were brought in. MORE »
Cornell University Hides Oprah
What some people thought was an April Fools joke at Cornell University was actually reality! Oprah was at Cornell. But, how did nobody know about her arrival, her stay or her departure? If anyone could pull off a magic trick like this it is David Blaine. Yes, Cornellians that is right. Cornell Administrators paid David... MORE »