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Step 1: Arrive at the front door and have the bouncer stare at your I.D. for way longer than normal. Looks like your pre-teen attempt at a beard makes you look like an idiot they don’t want in the bar. Either that or they don’t know how to do birthday math. Probably a combination of... MORE »
Things you will need:“¢ beer goggles“¢ 5 bucks (if you’re a dude)“¢ boobs (if you’re a chick”¦or a fat dude)“¢ a shower How to find your lost friends:“¢ Don’t. They’re long gone. They left this lame party hours ago. Punch or beer?“¢ Do you like your roofies carbonated or fruity? Things to do:“¢ Beer pong.“¢... MORE »
A recent survey conducted by Gallup Poll indicates that patrons of Syracuse University’s Kimmel Food Court are incapable of speaking in complete, explicable sentences after the hour of 1:00am on Friday and Saturday nights. Kimmel is a popular on-campus cafeteria featuring a number of fast food options, including Taco Bell, KFC, Burger King, Sbarro, and... MORE »
Orientation week can be a scary thing as a freshman at SU. You’re in a new environment, and your mind is ripe for the molding. This is exactly why RA’s take this opportunity to lie to your face, spouting off nonsense about things you will and will not be experiencing for the next four years.... MORE »