The mysterious man who has been flashing students for the last 18 months has finally been caught by State College Police. The man responsible for these incidents is the “Wild Thing” himself Charlie Sheen. Investigators believed that these cases would eventually lead to sexual assault, but in fact only ended in drug abuse and partying.

Clearly this expunged the police’s other #1 suspect, Bob Saget. When we asked Bob Saget about these allegations he was confused but not surprised. “I told you guys before, it was at summer camp. It doesn’t count if it happened summer camp.” He then went on to say how he wasn’t surprised that it was Sheen. “I mean can you blame the guy. He is obviously having a mid-life crisis. The only thing he has going for him right now is Two and Half Men, and to be honest that show is awful.”

When Sheen was asked why he did it, his only comment was “Because I’m me.”