Today in the Mack Student center, an idiot put a paper plate with bread on it in the toaster. This idiot then saw the flames, far from an “inferno”, and ran to the cashier to report the fire. And, embarrassed as I am to admit, that idiot was me. I know what you’re thinking and please, refrain from using such language. A great poet once said, “Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days, everybody knows what what I’m talking about, everybody gets that way.” Powerful stuff. Today at four o clock, brain dead from two classes I practically slept through I just wanted something to eat. Immediately my brain yelled, “BREAD AND BUTTER.” So, I put two pieces of Italian bread on a plate. I then thought, Can I do this? I turned to my friend, who will be named as Innocent Bystander, for advice. “Hey can I put a plate in th-” but he was out of earshot in the line for Organic. Now, at this very moment two thoughts came into my head, “Is this gonna catch on fire?” and “Ugh man this bread is gonna be so good right now”¦” I almost even walked over to Innocent Bystander attempting to use my common sense. But as you can tell, I don’t have any. I put my plate in the toaster and waited for my bread. Within seconds the smoke started coming out of the toaster and where theres smoke, theres fire. This is when the “giant inferno of a fireball” appeared and I ran to the cashier. Then people gathered around the toaster and naturally, I acted like I didn’t do it. I picked up a salad, met with my friends, and hastily made my exit. So I’m sorry that I caused the fire in the Student Center. If my own shame wasn’t bad enough, I have friends tagging me to the article on Facebook. So rest assured that I will be staying away from toasters, bread, and the Student Center for a long time.