So you’re not drinking tonight.  Maybe a beer or two, but you’re not getting
hammered.  Instead you’re going
shopping.  To the pots store.  And you, you’re xbox, and a bucket filled
with water with a two liter Coca-cola bottle in it have had plans that you
refuse to postpone.  Or maybe you’re more
of a dutch master.  Either way, ever
wonder how high you really are, or are sick of the lame ass one ten scale?  Well here it is.  I didn’t make this up.  It made me up”¦it makes sense if you don’t
think about it, then think about it later, then forget it forever.  Shut up. 
Just smoke pot and read this.


“Meh, I think I’m stoned”¦”- Usually a result of that really
dry brick stuff that comes in from our lovely, shitty tipping neighbors from
the north.  It taste like shit, barely
gets you high, but you’ll sure as hell try for the price, even if it means you
have to take 34 gravity rips to get there.

“Hey I’m High!”- Lets make this the middle ground.  Smoke a bleezy after work, get the munchies,
play Mario Kart 64 til 6:30 am. Sounds like a typical Tuesday night.

“Dude, where’d you get this stuff?- You stopped being cheap
and got headies.  You never regret it”¦and
your lungs don’t hurt.  You’re body feel
like you’re on a cloud.  Nah man.  You’re just really high.

“Fucking stoned”- Rough night, long work week, on
vacation.  Any scenario calls for it, you
spend a little more money than you usually do, get a lot more, and roll a lot
fatter.  Now it doesn’t matter, your
lungs will hurt.  Way past the
munchies.  Don’t want to eat for days.

“Stoned as Fuck- The only way to tell the difference between
this and “fucking stoned” is if “stoned as fuck “is actually said.  It is by definition the unconscious upgrade
of the prior.

“Who shit my pants?”- 
There’s shit in your pants, but you’re damn well sure its not yours.  Close to every scenario on this level can be
easily spotted, with almost every stoner yelling something similar to “WHICH ONE
OF YOU BASTARDS SHIT MY PANTS?” …Congrats to you if you witness this. Your life is now complete.