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April 2, 2011

Women’s Basketball Interviewed About Spring Football

Spring football continues to be the biggest unrelated-to-rooftops story at USC this semester, and we at Campus Basement are starting a new feature: figuring out what other USC “sports teams” think about our football team. This week: women’s basketball! We asked senior guard Jackie Gemelos her thoughts on the football team’s chances at winning the... MORE »

April 2, 2011

USC Greeks on Social Ban: What Hath God Wrought?

Misery and despair swept the USC campus this week after a sweeping social ban hit fraternity row.  What was formerly “Thirsty Thursday” became “Thoroughly Depressing Thursday,” and what used to be “Fratty Friday” became “Stop Playing That Fucking Rebecca Black Song, It’s Not Funny Sober.”   Evidence of lives upturned and dreams shattered could be... MORE »

March 31, 2011

Cecil Newton will eat that bug for twenty dollars

Cecil Newton, father of top NFL prospect Cam Newton, will eat that bug for twenty dollars. Not that gross one, the small one on the sidewalk there. The embattled Reverend has come under fire recently for apparently soliciting fees of up to $180,000 to SEC colleges such as Mississippi State for his son’s services as... MORE »

March 31, 2011

Jeter response to new batting order: ‘Look at my wife’

One of the most talked-about stories in this tumultuous baseball offseason has been the possible loss of Derek Jeter’s leadoff spot, a spot in the batting order he has held for fifteen seasons. When asked about relinquishing his spot in the order, essentially a demotion, Jeter said “have you seen pictures of my wife, Minka... MORE »