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October 16, 2012

Academia Never Sleeps

As the much-anticipated sweater weather season and the equally-exciting midterms season have finally come upon us, the natural habitat of the WashU student has shifted dramatically. On a late night studying for midterms, you might ask yourself, as I do, what is this new territory of academia and imprisonment? Of studies and dungeons? Of all-nighters and... MORE »

April 19, 2012

Course Listing Controversy: Registration Revealed

A scientifically minded person like myself often wonders about the inner workings of this turbulently changing world. For example, how does one double space a word document? Forever a mystery! But today I bring you the greatest mystery of all. And no, it isn’t the reason why people actually choose to sit in the B... MORE »

March 28, 2012

How I Imagine Thurtene Honorary Spends an Actual Day

8:00 AM: Wake up to “Call Me Maybe.” Look in mirror. Wink. Drink blood-infused protein shake. 8:32 AM: Play Sims Rollercoaster Tycoon. Feel in control of the lives of others. 10:00 AM: Skip class for “official” Thurtene business. 10:02 AM: Research shades of yellow. Struggle over whether or not the yellow is too green or... MORE »

February 29, 2012

Art of the Brunch

I am a huge proponent of eating breakfast. There is nothing like a good Chobani session. Am I right, ladies? And what could be better than Greek yogurt and/or four-month-old boxes of stale cereal to fuel you through your day? Let’s kick things up a notch… to something super secret, super special, super sweet and/or savory, superhero level of... MORE »

February 16, 2012

Art of the Mupload

Oh my gosh, like check me out hanging out with all my friends. I have friends. Did you know? We hang out and do fun things so I just wanted to take a picture of us, you know, hanging out, just chilling, NBD. No, I don’t think that I have to prove it. I just wanted to show... MORE »

February 8, 2012

Five Successful Ways to Sit Alone

Sitting alone is an art attempted by many, mastered by few. The SSS (Solo Seat Selection) is a dilemma facing our generation of awkward texters everywhere! So how does one sit alone and not be eaten alive? How can you avoid the state of a lone, defenseless guppy in a sea filled with barracudas?! (Barracudas eat guppies, right?) Read... MORE »

February 2, 2012

What People Talk About When They Talk About Humanities Majors

On Science I like watching Planet Earth. If all science classes were like Planet Earth, then I would totally be into science. I thought about being pre-med once, because like I’ve just always wanted to be a dermatologist or something. But I realized that the material was going to be too sciencey for me. Like what are DNA helicase?... MORE »

January 18, 2012

Doomsday in a College Setting: Practical Information and Advice

Hello Campus Basement readers, and welcome to 2012. According to the always accurate Mayan calendar, we have finally reached the end of days. Soon, the sky will collapse in on us, painfully crushing every living human soul while leaving our planet a mere particle of dust with no evidence of past life forms and certainly no evidence of last... MORE »

December 7, 2011

Student Emerges from Depths of Hell

An unnamed sophomore was found Tuesday morning rocking himself back and forth in fetal position under the Bunny statue. When brought inside to Whispers to thaw out his eyelids, he whispered, “I’ve come from a dark, dark place.” The biology, political science, and Russian studies triple major explained that he was revved up for the last week of classes... MORE »