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Both anime cosplayers and dubstep enthusiasts alike have grown tired of being relatively companionless, and reports are surfacing that members from both subcultures have converged to plan what they believe will be the greatest, most life-changing party ever. The idea was the brainchild of Japanophile Chris Petersson, who Facebooked one entire acquaintance, Steven Clark, an... MORE »
Year after year, the students and faculty at The University of Missouri expect the Greek community to dominate Homecoming festivities. This tradition was finally put to rest in the wake of a totally sick dorm Homecoming barbecue at Defoe-Graham Residence Hall. Defoe-Graham’s residents, and those from surrounding dorms, were polled prior to the event, and... MORE »
In a surprising move that also shocked no one, The Hearst Corporation, owner of both Cosmopolitan and Esquire, has acquired The Maneater’s very own MOVE Magazine. “I frequently write about when and how I’m getting laid and when I’m not, both in vast detail,” MOVE writer Samantha Jensen said. “Then I was offered a job... MORE »
In a recent study conducted by Mizzou Basement staff and collaboratively supervised and published by the Harvard University Press, CERN, The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives, and Vladimir Putin’s cabinet, it appears that the writers and photo artists at Mizzou Basement can write their articles and photoshop under the influence of alcoholic beverages... MORE »
The availability of lysergic acid diethylamide has dropped 90 percent, and right-brained students across campus are becoming desperate. Professor Emeritus of Toxicology Marcus Johnston was arrested one week ago for the manufacture of the drug in the shed behind his house. Among the most severely affected by this shortage are students of Philosophy and English,... MORE »