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February 2, 2011

The Drink: USC Fountain Review

Fountain Location: First floor Taper Hall, front lobby This is it; the first drinking fountain on campus. For many wet-eyed freshman, Taper is the first building to find. The first classroom to practice walking to so one can arrive at one’s 100-level GE in a timely manner. The building on campus that most resembles a... MORE »

January 26, 2011

The Drink: USC Fountain Review

Fountain location: North end of Trousdale, intersecting W 34th Street.  For this fountain, I really just have the question: “Why?”  What is the point? This is the Abe Vagoda of fountains on campus; it should really retire and call it a day. We all know that it is there, we’ll all be affected when it... MORE »

December 6, 2010

UCLA Football Team Sleeps Through Second Half of Saturday’s USC-UCLA Game

This Saturday, USC defeated long-time rival UCLA 28 to 14 in their annual football matchup; however, the UCLA football team wasn’t around to see their embarrassing defeat. The team spent the second half of the game sleeping in the locker rooms at the Rose Bowl. According to offensive coordinator Norm Chow, the team decided to... MORE »

December 6, 2010

Bacon-wrapped ghetto dogs receive 5-star Zagat review

Leonard Zagat, a local homeless man, recently awarded a five-star review to a bacon-wrapped hot dog sold by a local street vendor on Saturday’s game day. The food enthusiast, who sleeps under the Vermont Ave. I-10 on-ramp, said it was “the best godderned piece of shit I’ve licked all week.” Zagat’s review came shortly after... MORE »

December 6, 2010

Study finds direct relations between skill of film student, color of flannel shirtӬӬ

A recent study conducted by the USC School of Cinematic Arts indicates that a student’s prowess as a filmmaker can be determined by the color of his or her flannel shirt.”¨”¨ The findings come after months of peer reviewed testing on a random sampling of cinema students. To little surprise, green flannel nabbed the lead... MORE »