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Ian Arnold
Best Bushes To Piss On After Drinking
Pissing in public whilst moderately intoxicated is nothing new. The body has a high level of urgency when removing potentially excessive amounts of alcohol. Combined with the fear of public scrutiny should one’s bladder evacuate prematurely in a public forum. Results include, but are not limited to, urinating on the sides of buildings and... MORE »
MU Greek GPA’s Plummet Due to Adderall Shortage
Three things and three things alone dictate the survival of the residents in greek town; sex, adderall and beer. With finals threatening to surface in a month, frequent trips to gas stations all around Columbia have become a must in order to stock up on Natural Light. Wall’s of shame have transformed into... MORE »
Poetic Ode to the D-Bag In Lecture
To the shmuck in the front row, Always questioning or conversing with the professor, And supplying more than a “yes” or “no” answer. To the wannabe professor’s pet, This, right here, is what’s called a general education course. Meaning, it does nothing more than fulfill a pointless need. To the jagoff front and left-center, No... MORE »
What The Fuck Mizzou: Stupidity and Genital Whacking
Whether our impending move to the SEC or the upcoming rapture has anything to do with several sequences of events recently incorporating stupidity and religious expression, we’ll never know. The point of the matter; this campus seems to have caught apocalyptic-street-corner-sign syndrome and a fiery case of poor judgment. “You’re Gonna Catch the Crabs!” Anyone... MORE »