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December 27, 2011

Things I Hate About Females. Written by a Female.

Look, don’t let the title of this article fool you. I love being a girl. There’s nothing more satisfying than being able to have casual sex every weekend simply by wearing a low cut top with something shiny and distracting on it and mentioning that I have an N64 to go along with my piece... MORE »

September 6, 2011

Rain Returns to Ithaca; Freshman Has First of Many Mental Breakdowns

This poor lil’ guy was found sitting in the middle of College Ave this past Sunday as the rain poured down and everyone in Ithaca resumed hating their lives and questioning why they ever came here in the first place. As told by an eyewitness who asked if the emo sitter was alright, “he said... MORE »

May 18, 2011

THIS is why you go to Cornell.

I’m not one to post serious videos, but I like to think of this website as a sort of distraction from all the craziness going on in your life. Especially with finals week wreaking havoc on us and everyone around us, it’s important to remember the reason we’re all here – this video should remind... MORE »

May 2, 2011

Dubya Reacts to the News on Osama

Check out this hilarious video brought to you by the same peeps who brought you the “Overly Loud Yawn Remix”. Who knew our former prez had such sweet dance moves? MORE »

April 24, 2011

You’re Not the Only One Unhappy About Nelly…

Whoever made this is my hero. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one who feels the way I do about not being able to properly grind with drunk and sloppy frat bros to the slow paced beat of “Grillz.” Props to you, BigRedBearz! MORE »

April 19, 2011

Sexy Sax Man Invades Libraries and Classrooms Across Campus

Looks like Cornell’s got itself its own sexy sax man…IT’S ABOUT TIME. MORE »

April 19, 2011

Things I Wish I Knew Before I Came to College: Cornell Days Edition

Today marked the end of my favorite time of the year (no, not steak and a blowjob day): Cornell Days. And as I found myself pulling overenthusiastic completely bullshit lies out of my ass to please the shining new faces of the Class of 2015 and their parents, I thought, “fuck, I’m old.” I also... MORE »

April 11, 2011

Guess What! More White People Rapping!

I’m shocked at the amount of effort Cornell politicians have been putting into their campaigns lately, especially since no one know what the fuck Student Assembly does in the first place. Now that Natalie Raps has long been victorious, here comes Alex Bores – another white dude in a suit and tie – running for... MORE »

April 11, 2011

Which Cornell Frat Has a Little People Fetish?

I’m not exactly sure how this escaped my eye, but this picture of an Ithaca Craigslist ad posted before St. Paddy’s day speaks for itself. Remind me again why I was at Dunbar’s at 8 am when I could have been engaging in a “wee bit of shenanigans” with these guys? I clearly need to... MORE »