<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>hmerkt – Campus Basement</title> <atom:link href="http://campusbasement.com/author/hmerkt/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>http://campusbasement.com</link> <description>Funny College News</description> <lastBuildDate>Mon, 02 Sep 2019 00:03:47 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-US</language> <sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency> <generator>https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.3</generator> <item> <title>28th and Hoov</title> <link>http://campusbasement.com/usc/69th-and-lexx/articles/12836/28th-and-hoov</link> <comments>http://campusbasement.com/usc/69th-and-lexx/articles/12836/28th-and-hoov#respond</comments> <pubDate>Tue, 30 Apr 2013 23:15:20 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[hmerkt]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[69th and Lexx]]></category> <category><![CDATA[6:43]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Being Honest With Yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Morning After]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Morning Breath]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Morning Breezes]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Morning Light]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Phone Battery]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Really Good Sandwhiches]]></category> <category><![CDATA[South Central Los Angeles]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://campusbasement.com/?p=12836</guid> <description><![CDATA[Deep in the middle of the sweltering concrete jungle of South Central Los Angeles lies a place of pleasure, and intrigue. It’s a place where underpaid, average looking, and piddling college students work hard and play harder, the kind of place where desperate people have a lot of sex with each other. This IS 28th...]]></description> <wfw:commentRss>http://campusbasement.com/usc/69th-and-lexx/articles/12836/28th-and-hoov/feed</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>All Girls in Sorority House Hate Drama, Charlotte</title> <link>http://campusbasement.com/usc/drama/articles/12795/all-girls-in-sorority-house-hate-drama-charlotte</link> <comments>http://campusbasement.com/usc/drama/articles/12795/all-girls-in-sorority-house-hate-drama-charlotte#respond</comments> <pubDate>Mon, 08 Apr 2013 05:45:14 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[hmerkt]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Drama]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Literal Interpretation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Pillow Talk]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Serious Reporter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Shitty]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Smelly Mouth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sororities]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://campusbasement.com/?p=12795</guid> <description><![CDATA[  As last nights chapter dinner, many more individual conversations, endless hours of research, and a recent press release from the sorority have revealed, All the girls in the Theta Delta Chi house have proclaimed that they, “Hate Drama.” Drama has been cast off by this group as, “Shitty,” and, “Annoying,” in the past. The...]]></description> <wfw:commentRss>http://campusbasement.com/usc/drama/articles/12795/all-girls-in-sorority-house-hate-drama-charlotte/feed</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Student Asks Question To Prove He Doesn’t Need To Do So</title> <link>http://campusbasement.com/usc/college/articles/12597/student-asks-question-to-prove-he-doesnt-need-to-do-so</link> <comments>http://campusbasement.com/usc/college/articles/12597/student-asks-question-to-prove-he-doesnt-need-to-do-so#respond</comments> <pubDate>Fri, 01 Feb 2013 16:23:48 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[hmerkt]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[college]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fluctuating Freshman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Herodotus]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Opportunity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professor]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Race]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Raise Hand]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Sarcasm]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Student]]></category> <category><![CDATA[USC]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://campusbasement.com/?p=12597</guid> <description><![CDATA[As the second week of the semester closes, the material being covered in classes is finally starting to touch outside the realm of common sense. As we roll into week three the girl getting over some weight issues who just got her fake ID will once again be easier than your classes, and all will...]]></description> <wfw:commentRss>http://campusbasement.com/usc/college/articles/12597/student-asks-question-to-prove-he-doesnt-need-to-do-so/feed</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Path To Laundry Room Left Devastated After Three Days Of Rain</title> <link>http://campusbasement.com/usc/cargar/articles/12129/path-to-laundry-room-left-devastated-after-three-days-of-rain</link> <comments>http://campusbasement.com/usc/cargar/articles/12129/path-to-laundry-room-left-devastated-after-three-days-of-rain#respond</comments> <pubDate>Sat, 01 Dec 2012 23:39:20 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[hmerkt]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[CarGar]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Devastation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[dps]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Jedi]]></category> <category><![CDATA[laundry]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Pine Cones]]></category> <category><![CDATA[rain]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Soggy Foliage]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Statistics]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://campusbasement.com/?p=12129</guid> <description><![CDATA[As the residents of the North East third of Cardinal Gardens awoke this morning they found their apartment complex left in total god damn disarray after light rain plagued the region for the better part of the last week. Soggy leaves and downed twigs leave residents who are just trying to make it to the...]]></description> <wfw:commentRss>http://campusbasement.com/usc/cargar/articles/12129/path-to-laundry-room-left-devastated-after-three-days-of-rain/feed</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>USC Puts An End To Student Protest By Re-Mulching Trousdale</title> <link>http://campusbasement.com/usc/harry-potter/articles/12098/usc-puts-an-end-to-student-protest-by-re-mulching-trousdale</link> <comments>http://campusbasement.com/usc/harry-potter/articles/12098/usc-puts-an-end-to-student-protest-by-re-mulching-trousdale#respond</comments> <pubDate>Thu, 29 Nov 2012 19:49:31 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[hmerkt]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[harry potter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Israel]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mulch]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Palestine]]></category> <category><![CDATA[protests]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Smelly Poop]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Snape]]></category> <category><![CDATA[students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Toast]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Trojan Vision]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Trousdale]]></category> <category><![CDATA[USC]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://campusbasement.com/?p=12098</guid> <description><![CDATA[With tensions steadily rising in the middle east, the Israeli and Palestinian communities at USC took it upon themselves to show their support by having a protest-off right in the middle of campus. With the actual situation in the middle east not moving forward the student protest were forced to just see who could be...]]></description> <wfw:commentRss>http://campusbasement.com/usc/harry-potter/articles/12098/usc-puts-an-end-to-student-protest-by-re-mulching-trousdale/feed</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Matt Barkley Experiences Low-Point Montage After Being Defeated By UCLA</title> <link>http://campusbasement.com/usc/5-oclock-shadow/articles/12041/matt-barkley-experiences-low-point-montage-after-being-defeated-by-ucla</link> <comments>http://campusbasement.com/usc/5-oclock-shadow/articles/12041/matt-barkley-experiences-low-point-montage-after-being-defeated-by-ucla#respond</comments> <pubDate>Sun, 18 Nov 2012 18:11:00 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[hmerkt]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[5 O'clock Shadow]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Low Point]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Matt Barkley]]></category> <category><![CDATA[parties]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Reentering]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Rom Coms]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Speeches]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Trust]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Underage Drinking]]></category> <category><![CDATA[USC]]></category> <category><![CDATA[USC vs UCLA]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Whiskey]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://campusbasement.com/?p=12041</guid> <description><![CDATA[Last night as the UCLA Bruins spiked the ball down to run out the clock and stamp their name on the games victory, both the rains and a sense of extreme disappointment in our quarterback, Matt Barkley, descended over the campus of USC. A downtrodden Barkley, taking the loss to heart, flipped up the collar...]]></description> <wfw:commentRss>http://campusbasement.com/usc/5-oclock-shadow/articles/12041/matt-barkley-experiences-low-point-montage-after-being-defeated-by-ucla/feed</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Girl On Bicycle Uses Hand Signals Like An Old Pro</title> <link>http://campusbasement.com/usc/abandonment-issues/articles/11936/girl-on-bicycle-uses-hand-signals-like-an-old-pro</link> <comments>http://campusbasement.com/usc/abandonment-issues/articles/11936/girl-on-bicycle-uses-hand-signals-like-an-old-pro#respond</comments> <pubDate>Sun, 11 Nov 2012 20:48:05 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[hmerkt]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Abandonment Issues]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Around The Block]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Beauty]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Bicycle Signals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Composure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[DPS officers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Flourishing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Ghost Rider]]></category> <category><![CDATA[harry potter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Heather Whitmer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hermione]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Segways]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Giver]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Turning]]></category> <category><![CDATA[USC]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://campusbasement.com/?p=11936</guid> <description><![CDATA[Early this morning, at the intersection of McClintock and Jefferson, a masterful exhibition in balance and composure was held by a student riding her bike through the intersection. Coming from the direction of the Century Apartments, (where the food trucks always park for you freshmen) she elegantly raised her left hand at a seemingly pre-measured...]]></description> <wfw:commentRss>http://campusbasement.com/usc/abandonment-issues/articles/11936/girl-on-bicycle-uses-hand-signals-like-an-old-pro/feed</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Candidates Seek Women’s Vote By Slyly Condescending Just Like Mom Used To</title> <link>http://campusbasement.com/usc/barack-obama/articles/11739/candidates-seek-womens-vote-by-slyly-condescending-just-like-mom-used-to</link> <comments>http://campusbasement.com/usc/barack-obama/articles/11739/candidates-seek-womens-vote-by-slyly-condescending-just-like-mom-used-to#respond</comments> <pubDate>Sun, 04 Nov 2012 17:47:36 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[hmerkt]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Barack Obama]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Business Trips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Condescending]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Drones]]></category> <category><![CDATA[election]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fall]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Freshmen 15]]></category> <category><![CDATA[hurricanes]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Kissing Babies]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mind Reading]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mitt romney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Polls]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://campusbasement.com/?p=11739</guid> <description><![CDATA[With the election swiftly approaching like a hurricane, and each candidate trying to be the one to leave half the nation in devastation, the race for votes has never been closer. Earlier this week Gov. Mitt Romney learned that women now have the right to vote, and that he has completely neglected the demographic. As...]]></description> <wfw:commentRss>http://campusbasement.com/usc/barack-obama/articles/11739/candidates-seek-womens-vote-by-slyly-condescending-just-like-mom-used-to/feed</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Professor Contemplates Ending It All Saying, “Those Kids Laughing in Lecture Are Right.”</title> <link>http://campusbasement.com/usc/dps/articles/11456/professor-contemplates-ending-it-all-saying-those-kids-laughing-in-lecture-are-right</link> <comments>http://campusbasement.com/usc/dps/articles/11456/professor-contemplates-ending-it-all-saying-those-kids-laughing-in-lecture-are-right#respond</comments> <pubDate>Sun, 21 Oct 2012 20:28:02 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[hmerkt]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[dps]]></category> <category><![CDATA[glee]]></category> <category><![CDATA[International Relations]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Matt Bomer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Pink Floyd]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Respect]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self Defense Class]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Wall]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Vigilante]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://campusbasement.com/?p=11456</guid> <description><![CDATA[Saturday night, as international relations professor George Witter sat in his leather armchair sipping a 12 year old red wine and watched one of the first copies of his book about the anarchistic nature of the international system slowly be devoured by the flame in his fire place, he began to think about the insignificance...]]></description> <wfw:commentRss>http://campusbasement.com/usc/dps/articles/11456/professor-contemplates-ending-it-all-saying-those-kids-laughing-in-lecture-are-right/feed</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Assholes Say, “Douchebags Today Just Don’t Respect The Art”</title> <link>http://campusbasement.com/usc/assholes/articles/11234/assholes-say-douchebags-today-just-dont-respect-the-art</link> <comments>http://campusbasement.com/usc/assholes/articles/11234/assholes-say-douchebags-today-just-dont-respect-the-art#respond</comments> <pubDate>Sun, 14 Oct 2012 22:50:03 +0000</pubDate> <dc:creator><![CDATA[hmerkt]]></dc:creator> <category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[assholes]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Douchebags]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fascists]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Girly Shit]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mothers]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://campusbasement.com/?p=11234</guid> <description><![CDATA[Area man Bill Miller, head of Fellow Assholes Staying Connected to Instill Social Tyranny (FASCIST), held a press conference today to make their disappointment in todays class of douchebags publicly known. Of course by press conference I mean a single flyer posted on the doors outside the gym that I saw someone taking down in...]]></description> <wfw:commentRss>http://campusbasement.com/usc/assholes/articles/11234/assholes-say-douchebags-today-just-dont-respect-the-art/feed</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>