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Disappointed Jewish Boy Receives School Supplies for Hanukkah, Again
David Steinberg was eager to get home from college for winter break; he couldn’t wait to celebrate Hanukkah with his family. “I love all of the family traditions,” he was overheard saying to his campus Hillel representative, “we light the menorah, sing Hanukkah songs, and play dreidel, what could be better?” David’s explanation seemed a... MORE »
Secret Santa On A Budget (Wash U)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! It’s the moooooost, wonderful tiiiime, of the yeeeeeear! Holiday season gets me so excited. Family, presents, homecooked meals, no schoolwork, and that odd thing called “a... MORE »
This is What Studying Until 3:00 a.m. Looks Like
Wheelies in the b-school parking lot!!! MORE »
How WashU Stole Christmas (and Kept it)
Every student down at WashU liked Christmas a lot”¦ (Except for the roughly 30% who were apathetic or anti-commercialism.)But WashU, though its colors are green and red, did NOT!WashU hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! (Except for selling holiday-themed paraphernalia at the bookstore.) Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.It could... MORE »
Spring Semester 2012: What Classes Should You Take?
Consider my Campus Basement writing cherry popped! With the semester coming to a close, I thought I’d steer clear of finals for my first article here. Finals are like my beloved Washington Redskins: they suck. So, I thought it best to avoid them and to focus on next semester. And, if you’re anything like me... MORE »
Not Another Finals Article!
Suck it up readers. This is all I have on my mind. Sorry for being lame. So, my WashU comrades, it is that time of year again. Christmahanakwanzika, you ask? Of course not. Its finals season, baby! Refills on Adderrall prescriptions have been placed. Textbooks have been dusted off. Study rooms have been reserved. Time... MORE »
Have An Orangey Day at “Orange Leaf”
Next time you pull into Schnuck’s to reload your OJ, milk, and Cocoa Puffs, be sure to stop into the new club/café/hotspot “Orange Leaf: America’s Frozen Yogurt.” Entering the vicious frozen yogurt market, and competing against established names like “Fro Yo” and “Chill,” “Orange Leaf” has really sparked some interest in the Wash U community.... MORE »
Posting Your Article: The Emotional Turmoil of a Campus Basement Writer
Writers for Campus Basement are kind of similar to that Vietnamese prostitute I met while backpacking in Southeast Asia”¦we are constantly getting pissed on. “Are you honestly going to continue using my wall as advertising space?” asks my Grandma. “Yes Grammy, I am. And you know what else, I think your crocheting is overrated”¦yeah, I... MORE »
Student Emerges from Depths of Hell
An unnamed sophomore was found Tuesday morning rocking himself back and forth in fetal position under the Bunny statue. When brought inside to Whispers to thaw out his eyelids, he whispered, “I’ve come from a dark, dark place.” The biology, political science, and Russian studies triple major explained that he was revved up for the last week of classes... MORE »
Local Man Hates Self, WashU Basement
A student currently attending Washington University hates his life. According to reports, he/she spends hours each day thinking up the cleverest comments possible to distract himself from his/her own self-hatred, including “You’re not funny” and “This isn’t funny.” This student was last seen playing World of Warcraft. And he is NOT Chuck Norris. It has... MORE »