On Science

I like watching Planet Earth. If all science classes were like Planet Earth, then I would totally be into science. I thought about being pre-med once, because like I’ve just always wanted to be a dermatologist or something. But I realized that the material was going to be too sciencey for me. Like what are DNA helicase? And why would I care if they unzip jeans? A boy in my class tried to explain, but I just don’t get it. I was also considering taking a personal finance class, but then I decided that Art in the Egypt of the Pharaohs would probably be more practical.

On 8:30 AM Class

What? Why? I only wake up that early for my Monday morning meditation sessions. I don’t understand. Anyway, I do have a one o’clock class later about the intersection of gender, race, class, and musical preference. It is really complexly and intricately woven together and really centers upon classical literature. Basically, our sexuality is inherently based on a continuum of hegemony and capitulation which is influenced by theological and
anthropological dynamics… Wait, what do you mean humanities majors are pretentious?

On Technology

I’m really into this blog right now. You should check it out. Have you read my blog? Did you see my blog’s backdrop? It’s Renoir’s Boating Party, obviously. Have you heard of the iPhone? It seems okay, but I think I’ll stick with my Moleskine notebook, thank you very much. I’m never going to be into Kindles. I just like reading the physical book, you know? Sure, my complete edition of Shakespeare is the same weight as a well-fed child, but it is definitely worth a few back injuries. How else am I going to gain the respect of my library peers? Large, collegiate-appearing books are the only way. Kindles are made specifically for people who read Jodi Picoult, wear t-shirts with words on them, or are my mom.

On Job Applications

I can probably include my ability to reference Foucault over five times in an hour-and-a half-long class period on my resume, right? There’s also a pretty obscure Yeats poem from an unpublished edition of his fifth grade diary that I’ve read, so that’s definitely relevant experience. Additionally, I have impeccable attention to detail. For example, I noticed that my professor used the word “the” incorrectly in his most recent e-mail. I was shocked, but that is simply the price I pay for my impressive skillset concerning the English language. Anyway, I used to babysit during high school once in a while… So of course I’ll get a job. Don’t be silly!