Wash U’s Office of Public Relations revealed a shameful
secret yesterday””the curricular planner function on Webstac, designed to help
students organize the credits they must achieve to graduate, was designed by
Detlef von Braun, formerly a rocket scientist in Hitler’s Third Reich.
Von Braun worked closely with Hitler and other SS
higher-ups, and his research helped to create rockets that were directly used
by the Nazis in combat. He came to
America 1945 under a discreet operation that aimed to excuse German scientists
of war crimes in exchange for their cooperation with the United States
Wash U’s board of trustees is already in a panic, and two
large corporate sponsors to the university have already pledged to cease
donations beginning in the coming fiscal year.
Students, however, are less surprised. “I totally saw it coming,” said Emily
Lipton, a sophomore. “It’s so
confusing, hard to understand”¦diabolical, really”¦the kind of thing only a Nazi
is capable of.”
“I spent weeks trying to figure it out,” echoed Jonathan
Pinsky, a junior. “And when I
finally did, it said I never took Writing 1. Damn that kraut bastard! Damn him to hell!”
Von Braun was unavailable for comment as he has been dead
for 37 years.