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Translating the Secret Code of Course Listings
Everyone who's registered for classes at Wash U knows one thing: the WebSTAC course listing tells you absolutely nothing about the course you are about to take. Or does it? Could there actually be a secret language, giving you insider-information on the courses, simply waiting to be decoded?
Course Listing Controversy: Registration Revealed
A scientifically minded person like myself often wonders about the inner workings of this turbulently changing world. For example, how does one double space a word document? Forever a mystery! But today I bring you the greatest mystery of all. And no, it isn’t the reason why people actually choose to sit in the B... MORE »
Spring Semester 2012: What Classes Should You Take?
Consider my Campus Basement writing cherry popped! With the semester coming to a close, I thought I’d steer clear of finals for my first article here. Finals are like my beloved Washington Redskins: they suck. So, I thought it best to avoid them and to focus on next semester. And, if you’re anything like me... MORE »
Wash U to End Free Sushi Wednesdays at the DUC
Wednesday, November 16, 2011 marks a day that will live in infamy throughout the Wash U Community for years to come. Bon Appétit management has announced its intentions to end “Free Sushi Wednesdays” in the DUC. For those of you who are unaware of this campus-wide phenomenon, Free Sushi Wednesdays has played a crucial role... MORE »
Thanksgiving for Kids Vs. Thanksgiving for College Students
On the Week Before Kids: By Thanksgiving, it has already been over three weeks since Halloween! And how is a kid to survive without a monthly dose of commercialized holiday cheer generously injected into the American education system?? Impossible, I know. So instead of expecting kids to actually try to learn anything the week before a holiday, teachers fill... MORE »
W.U.S.T.L Career Fair: The Tailor Conspiracy
The year is 1991, and janky clothing sales are at an all time high, The U.S. invades Iraq to ensure a steady supply of petroleum which it can refine into lycra and polyester to mass produce (and therefore corner the world market in) clothing in every shade of neon. Customers across the nation purchase articles... MORE »
Dear Girl Who Laughs Too Much in Class
Dear Girl who Laughs too much in class: I hate you. That’s really all there is to it. The professor is not that funny, and I’m sure he isn’t even flattered at this point. Your laugh is so loud, so obnoxious and nasally, it makes me sick to the stomach, an infectious cacophony of horridness. This isn’t... MORE »
So You Think You’re a Whispers Socialite
As WashU students, you are obviously getting your monthly fix of human interaction from library socialization. If not, you are probably one of the kids who draw anime in Bear’s Den, a member of the university’s molepeople population (including the Sam Fox molepeople sector), or someone who “goes out” … whatever that means. The library... MORE »
HORSIES! ON CAMPUS! (hm.)
There was a horse-drawn carriage on campus today (it might still be roaming around if you wanna chase it). See the photo for confirmation. I can’t be the only person at WashU wondering what in the world that was doing here. These are my thoughts on what the administration must’ve been thinking when they approved... MORE »
Academia Never Sleeps
As the much-anticipated sweater weather season and the equally-exciting midterms season have finally come upon us, the natural habitat of the WashU student has shifted dramatically. On a late night studying for midterms, you might ask yourself, as I do, what is this new territory of academia and imprisonment? Of studies and dungeons? Of all-nighters and... MORE »
Acronyms That Will Prevent Me From Graduating
Allow me to rephrase… Abbreviations that WashU uses to stop me from graduating. Specifically, abbreviations that make me fail… At the very least, evidence that suggests WashU truly wants me to break down into hysterics in the middle of Whispers. QA: Quantitatively Annoying. When I reached the ripe age of twelve years old, my mother gave me a pair... MORE »