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It’s that time of the year again: SUMMER TIME!!!! (We’re going to pretend that summer starts the minute school ends because FUCK THE SUMMER SOLSTICE). Now, throw those $300 dollar text books that you never opened out the window, and start living it up! Of course, in order to make the most out of your... MORE »
This past Thursday afternoon, campus police were dispatched to break up a fight that started in the bookstore. Witness reports state that the fight began when a 5’3” white female walked past another 5’4” white female without any visible recognition of the latter despite their past friendship. Reportedly, the two had been friends up until... MORE »
If you happen to be a twenty something female, chances are you have at least heard of the racy new show Girls on HBO. Odds are also good that you have somehow finagled an HBO GO password out of someone. Maybe you befriended that girl who never washes her hair or performed sexual favors for... MORE »
Every year horror-stricken freshmen women arrive on campus and realize they’ve all made the same terrible mistake. That backpack you ordered, THE NORTH FACE RECON SE BACKPACK RAGE BLUE ASTER POP PINK, the one that all your girls back home said was sooo you, the one that totally would, like, make a statement, is patently... MORE »
Moving to the Village can sound great in theory. But after a while, you really start to notice that even though you are now an upperclassmen, you’ve just been seriously downgraded. Here are the top five things you can look forward to missing once you move off the Forty. No brunch. Well, at least not... MORE »
With a couple months of school under our belts, we should all be familiar with the lunchtime madness at the DUC. 15-minute salad lines? A sad reality. You want a taco salad? Get ready to stand around for a ten-minute panic attack about whether they are going to run out of guac before you get... MORE »
Everyone should take the Megabus to Chicago at least once. It’s a weird, character-building activity that makes us all better, more accepting humans in less than a day. It’s downright transformative! I’ve had the great fortune of riding the big blue bus not once, but twice, so I can write this list of things... MORE »
For those of you taking full advantage of Olin library being open 24-hours (aka living under a rock), this is an alert: it’s pumpkin season. And I mean besides the whole Halloween, jack o’ lantern thing. It’s time to seriously chow down on some pumpkin-flavored goods. This is a crucial and fleeting time of... MORE »
Bookstore employees are overwhelmed and perplexed today by a huge surge in binder sales at the university bookstore. Hundreds of students flooded the bookstore this afternoon, violently interrogating employees and knocking down sections of pens and notepads, all in search of women-filled binders. One student demanded a refund for his recently purchased item. He... MORE »
Wash U’s police force, WUPD, reached new levels of strictness on Saturday night, breaking up a one-man party. Fred Fredrickson, a transfer student, was uninformed of WashU’s newly instated “No Fun” policies. The current police state reigning over Wash U’s social circle left Fred alone, confused, but ready to party. “I just didn’t understand why absolutely... MORE »