As the much-anticipated sweater weather season and the equally-exciting midterms season have finally come upon us, the natural habitat of the WashU student has shifted dramatically. On a late night studying for midterms, you might ask yourself, as I do, what is this new territory of academia and imprisonment? Of studies and dungeons? Of all-nighters and death eaters? This, my friends, happens to be the tumultuous hours of 2:00 AM to 7:00 AM in the Olin Library.
Do I like this? No. Do I want to be there? Not unless there is a frozen yogurt establishment that takes campus card. Do you think that this promotes the mental, emotional, and physical well-being of students? I don’t care. Am I really writing another article about the library? Please don’t be mad at me, it’s the only thing I know.
But more importantly, will I wake up at 4 AM in a cold sweat clutching a Calculus textbook in fetal position on top of a grad student study room table and no one will notice or care because the library is open and therefore I’m expected to be there? Probably. All you need to know is that I don’t take Calculus and that at 2 AM the library’s doors lock and no one leaves until you finish all your work or vomit. It’s the truth. Ask anyone.
In an effort to understand the administration’s decision to imprison students in a psychologically traumatic library overdose, I have compiled a short list of possible pros and cons of a 24-hour library.
PRO: Startling loudspeaker warning that the library will be closing in ten minutes can no longer be used as a terrifying scare tactic to make me panic and throw my laptop across the table.
CON: Strange noises of the night. Including owls, motor-powered monsters and/or vacuums, noisy snorers. And casually creepy reminders that the library is, in fact, still open… Hey guys, the library will be open allllllll night, so like feel free to keep studying or whatever it is you kids do.
PRO: New late night hang out! Meet me in the stacks for some Thirsty Thursday action? Vanilla latte anyone????
CON: Social pressure. What if I leave the library at 3:30 AM, but that’s when all the cool kids start muploading their all-nighter at the libe?! Ugh, I just want to be popular. As they say, only the strong survive.
PRO: Permanent shelter for homeless people.
CON: No showers.
PRO: Watching the sunrise from the depths of a cozy cubicle. A romantic way to realize you only have two hours left until real humans roam the campus and you actually have to take that micro exam.
CON: The whole no sleeping, anomaly of the human sleep cycle, nocturnal creature thing. Accidentally falling asleep during that micro test. Probably caused by a lack of enforced nap times.
On that note, I say go out there and fight for change. Petition for nap time in the library! And showers. Especially showers. Please. That boy in my lit class whose hair seems to be matted down with grease and general lack of shampoo will thank you.