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A Very Special Message from USC Basement
This goes out to everyone who supported USC Basement throughout this entire tournament. It goes without saying....Thank You.
Research finds “Commencement” is no longer a terminal illness
The class of 2012 and all its friends can breath a collective sigh of relief about at least one thing as May 11th approaches, thanks to some timely research conducted by the University of Southern California. According to chief researchers, 98% of the student body was under the impression that Commencement, or “graduation” in dirty... MORE »
Childhood Dreams: Way Less Cool Now
1. Riding the Magic School Bus As a five-year-old, the idea of learning about the human body from inside the human body was basically the coolest thing ever (besides Barbie Jeeps). Ms. Frizzle was that quirky teacher – she’s kind of like the 90s version of Zooey Deschanel, minus the doe-eyes and singing abilities –... MORE »
Week in Review: You say goodbye, and I say NEWS
Your second-best source for this week’s Daily Trojan headlines. Students can donate excess dining dollars to LA homeless The only catch is that you have to figure out how to actually hold a dining dollar in your hand and describe what it looks like to the human eye. Betty White discusses new book at... MORE »
Student’s First Boy-Girl Sleepover Spoiled By Homesickness
Freshman couple, Suzzie Cooper and Matt Stevens, had been planning their first boy-girl sleepover, a first for both parties, for weeks. Plans were made to spend the night at Suzzie’s since she had an apartment and her roommate seems to mysteriously disappear between 10pm on Friday and noon on Sunday every weekend. Plans began to... MORE »
“Eh, Coachella was just okay…” says student, whose last name is “Nobody”
Coachella Weekend 2 is upon us, which means at least a few thousand college students will not be reading this until Monday afternoon. Jim Nobody, a USC junior, attended his first Coachella during Weekend 1, and experienced it in full. Earlier today he was able to share that experience with us. “I think my favorite... MORE »
Senior discovers hidden gem known as “Galen Dining Center”
It has recently come to our attention that the Galen Dining Center, also known as “where the football team eats” to campus tour guides, has gone unnoticed for many during their time at USC. What is the Galen Dining Center, you ask? That’s exactly what Steve Flanders, a graduating senior, asked too. “I just never... MORE »
Which USC Building Would YOU Date?
Doheny 80 (but I promise, she doesn’t look a day over 21) / Female / Single? Doheny enjoys long walks on the metaphorical beach, cuddling, and telling boys that she’d really like to “just be friends.” She’s completely out of your league and always will be, what with her sexy marble floors and beautiful oak... MORE »
If The Avengers Went to College
Loganor over at Columbia Basement wrote an article awhile back called “If Disney Princesses Went to College.” And being a boy… I unabashedly loved it and couldn’t stop trying to figure out which princess each staggering co-ed I saw while riding my scooter home was. This then got me scared that I had all... MORE »
Matt Barkley Stays at SC Another Year To Fulfill Dreams of Being a DJ
As we’ve all learned from that scene in the Nickelodeon movie Clockstoppers, and the entirety of The Replacements with Keanu Reeves, winning a DJ competition requires supernatural feats of speed and dread locks while becoming an NFL quarterback simply requires minimal talent, a complicated emerging love interest, and a lovable band of misfits. According to... MORE »
Poll shows men wearing formal or business-casual clothes considered “distracting,” “super hot”
The unanimous results of the latest poll of the attracted-to-men community contains one surprising gem: dressed-up dudes are really hot. “I keep having to remind myself not to stare,” says an anonymous junior of the days her business class dresses up for presentations. When asked if she’d maybe be more productive if there were no... MORE »
Weekly Sex: Never Been Kissed
Once a week has never been so satisfying. Weekly Sex, I’m not the only one in this situation, I’ve definitely talked to other people who are the same way, but it’s almost the end of freshman year and I’ve still never kissed anybody. Should I just keep waiting?? I don’t want all the pressure to... MORE »
Weekly Sex: The Spark
Once a week has never been so satisfying. Dear Weekly Sex, Ever since getting back from winter break, sex hasn’t really been the same with my partner. I guess since we haven’t been together in a little while, it feels kind of awkward. How can we bring back the spark? - Feeling Off Dear Mr./Miss... MORE »
Why USC Should Win The Campus Basement Inaugural Tournament
And The Winner Is… This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to share your favorite! Voting ends for this final round matchup at 9pm PST Sunday, Jan 15! (12am EST Monday, Jan 16) The article with the... MORE »
Best Pranks to Play On Your Roommates If You Get to School Before Them (USC)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! To: USC University Park Community From: Department of Public Safety Re: Incident Resolution Notice In an effort to better communicate with the campus community about public... MORE »
Bottom 5 Worst Places To Vacation (USC)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! When we found out we had to write about bad vacations, we were like… yeah! We’ve been on so many! Like we’re definitely the opposite of film... MORE »
Happy Belated Birthday to USC Campus Basement!
You know you’re getting old when you forget your own first birthday. Fortunately, one of our mottos (and we have a lot of them) around the writers’ room is “Who really needs pants anyway?” Another motto of ours is “it’s never too late to celebrate!” With that in mind, we’d like to tell the story... MORE »
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