Post-Break Revelations

Article by Cailin Lowry January 21, 2013

Considering I’m a junior, I should probably be beyond the post-break Trojan culture shock I experience whenever I return to campus. After three straight weeks of sleeping for between ten and fifteen (mmm, REM) hours per night, forcing my dog to cuddle with me, and playing Bejeweled Blitz until I get a new high score... MORE »

Article by Becca Grumet
December 6, 2012

Everyone Blows Off Last Week of Classes, Goes to Disneyland Instead

"I've actually decided to drop my major and dance in the parade full time now that I've spent the week at Disneyland," said a very excited theater major. "It's just such a lifestyle here." For some reason, we totally agreed with everything she said and blamed it on creepily persuasive Disney magic. MORE »

Article by hmerkt
December 1, 2012

Path To Laundry Room Left Devastated After Three Days Of Rain

As the residents of the North East third of Cardinal Gardens awoke this morning they found their apartment complex left in total god damn disarray after light rain plagued the region for the better part of the last week. Soggy leaves and downed twigs leave residents who are just trying to make it to the... MORE »

Article by hmerkt
November 29, 2012

USC Puts An End To Student Protest By Re-Mulching Trousdale

With tensions steadily rising in the middle east, the Israeli and Palestinian communities at USC took it upon themselves to show their support by having a protest-off right in the middle of campus. With the actual situation in the middle east not moving forward the student protest were forced to just see who could be... MORE »

Article by Becca Grumet
November 21, 2012

15 Things I’m Thankful For

Because time moves too quickly in college I’m not really sure what Thanksgiving is about anymore (pilgrims?? Genocide? I dunno), but the one thing I do recall is that people say what they’re thankful for, and so I’ve compiled a list to read out at the dinner table tomorrow: 1. The Mucho Mango smoothie at the SCA... MORE »

Article by hmerkt
November 18, 2012

Matt Barkley Experiences Low-Point Montage After Being Defeated By UCLA

Last night as the UCLA Bruins spiked the ball down to run out the clock and stamp their name on the games victory, both the rains and a sense of extreme disappointment in our quarterback, Matt Barkley, descended over the campus of USC. A downtrodden Barkley, taking the loss to heart, flipped up the collar... MORE »

Article by Roy Parker
November 18, 2012

USC Loss to UCLA Undeniable Proof That Californians Don’t Know How to Do Sh*t When It Rains

UCLA’s 38-28 victory over USC this Saturday marked the first time in six years that the Bruins have beaten the Trojans. During the game everyone was quick to point out USC head coach, Lane Kiffin, as the faulty party for USC’s poor performance. But the actual culprit is all the more sinister…   The. Rain.... MORE »

Article by Cailin Lowry
November 18, 2012

50 Reasons for Arrogance, Part II

We lost a football game. It’s sad. The margin wasn’t quite 50 – 0 (yep, still have bragging rights on that one), but we still lost. Don’t worry (I know you weren’t), Trojans. Your arrogance is still well deserved. And here are the next twenty-five reasons why: 1.     The benefits of a private university: Google... MORE »

Article by Cailin Lowry
November 17, 2012

50 Reasons for Arrogance, Part I

It is difficult to explain the USC-UCLA rivalry to an outsider: Trojan arrogance and understood superiority runs deep and cannot always be rationalized. In light of the game tomorrow (and UCLA’s recent bout with trying to tear down our traditions), here are fifty reasons you can feel content with your arrogance. Fifty seemed like an... MORE »

Article by Harris Mayersohn
November 16, 2012

UCLA “Vandalism” Believed to be Work of Banksy

Tension and unease have been running high on the two major college campuses in the Los Angeles area over the course of the past week. In the lead-up to the annually contentious UCLA-USC football game, pranks and insults have grown more vicious than in recent years. In reaction to a rule change preventing the USC... MORE »