It’s everyone’s favorite season again -
lease-signing season! Millions were
riveted as Lauren, Lauryn, and Laurrinn chose property owner Sanjit Singh as
their future landlord from the final three in Flavor of Lease‘s unprecedentedly-entertaining
finale. 


“People threw around words like ‘boring’ or ‘uncalled for’ when I pitched a USC-based show about the landlord selection process,” the show’s creator told the press this week, shortly before mooning them in light of the show’s success. 


As Lease‘s loyal viewers know, the journey of the show’s success has been
a long, touching-moment-filled season, but not without its drama and outrageous
“oh no she di’in’t!!” train wrecks! “I almost walked off the
show soooo many times,” Lauryn gushes in an exclusive
 CB interview.
“We thought we really found a friend in Sanjit. But then he was all ‘you
can’t have parties in this house?!’”

The infamous issue is one that has, thankfully,
been resolved since. “The girls informed me the policy was ‘some bullshit,’
and were amenable to a slight increase in rent. We maintain an understanding
about not scratching the hardwood floors.” Whoa-ho-ho! Slow down,
lovebirds!

It’s strange to be reminded, after the conclusion
of the show, that America’s favorite lessee/lesseur pairing Laurjit* could have
gone two other ways. Big Ben, the owner of an old off-row fraternity house on
the West side, was widely considered too desperate. Also, Ben was widely considered
in general. Considered widely.
 Widely considered wide. A
wide man. (Fat. He’s fat.)
 

The childless Big Ben was usually seen on the show
sporting a “cool dad!!” t-shirt, and his “where the party at?” catchphrase
has come to mean “hug me, please” when used by most people.


Ben enjoyed an
early lead due to his liberal stance on the drinking age, as well as just about
everything else. “He gave us so much free weed we started using it to decorate
the house,” Lauren explains, which was apparently “pretty chill,” but a later
emotional outburst about the Laurens liking Sanjit more than they liked him led
to him setting their decorations on fire. The incident was reportedly “not
chill.”



They found their most irreconcilable
differences in the second to last episode. The Laurens said they’d be
uncomfortable with him as their roommate, and a widely-publicized hair-pulling
incident between Ben and Sanjit’s hair followed.


Despite being a regular challenge-winner, the
third finalist turned out to be present with the intention of gold digging
Flava Flav and doesn’t actually own any property. She has been offered
counseling and a spot on the Laurens’ couch”¦ and their hearts.


“Everyone says the emotions in reality TV are
unreal,” Laurrinn explains. “But the reality is that everybody is just really
unbalanced. We left with a real landlord and made some real friends.”

A Flavor
of Lease: New Jersey
spin-off is rumored to come out in the Fall.


*Coined, bitches.