The USC School of Cinematic Arts announced today the hiring
of two new faculty members to the SCA staff for the Spring 2012 semester ““ Film
School Ferret and Film Major Flamingo. The two new staff members have both grown
in popularity over the past year or so by both appearing in their own
respective self-memes.

 

Film School Ferret will be taking over as the SCA Student
Supervisor. When asked about his main goals for his new position, the Ferret
replied that he wanted to make sure that students understood as many aspects in
filmmaking as possible. “‘Oh you’re a film major? So you’re gonna be a
director, right?’ YES BECAUSE THERE”S NOTHING INVOLVED IN FILMMAKING.”

 

The Ferret says that he remembers his days in film school
and knows how to get students to still have a healthy social life and not come
off as being a pretentious, jackass film student. “Film friends want to watch
movie. Non-Film friends want to drink. MAKE A MOVIE DRINKING GAME.”

 

The other new faculty member, Film Major Flamingo, a current
graduate student in film production, has been hired on to the position of Chair
of Associate Chairs of Cinema. So basically, the highest TA possible. Film
Major Flamingo will still wants to be very involved in student life because he
feels like he can pass on some very helpful inside tips about surviving film
school since he still is in it himself. “Low production values? IT’S CINEMA
VERITE”¦ Project is terrible. IT’S A REINTERPRETATION OF FRENCH NEW WAVE.”

 

While both Film School Ferret and Film Major Flamingo won’t
be working directly with one another, they will be coming together to ensure
one specific thing doesn’t happen to the cinema school ““ and that’s approving
of Avatar as a legitimate film. “You
say you like Avatar? LET ME TELL YOU
WHY YOU”RE WRONG,” is what the Flamingo says he’ll reply to anyone who believes
the James Cameron film is enjoyable. While the Ferret gave a more hypothetical
retort, “‘You’re taking a class on the greatest movies of all time? Cool! Have
you gotten to Avatar yet?’ AND THAT’S
WHY I KILLED HER OFFICER.”

 

Both Film School Ferret and Film Major Flamingo will be
starting their new positions in 
January.