MAIN CAMPUS ““ “Ugh, like no one else does this kind of
thing,” student Paul Dickman attests, in response to the now-confirmed
allegations that the wiener pictures saved to and sent from his on-campus work
computer are indeed his.

The original picture, discovered by a diligent coworker, was
highly suspect ““ supervisors were “pretty sure” it was Paul’s, despite being
covered, but Paul refused to confirm or deny whether he recognized it. It was
sent to a friend from Paul’s account, but he claimed it’d been hacked.

It wasn’t until today, when the incriminating “face pics”
surfaced, that the case was closed and Paul was finally forced to admit
ownership of the dachshund.

Paul claims what he does on his break time with pictures of
his own wiener dog don’t have any bearing with how well he does his actual job.

“His personal life is his personal life, but he’s
representing everyone in this office,” Paul’s direct supervisor remarked. “Whether or not that puppy is damn cute.”