The last week of classes can be challenging for some, relaxing for others, but always a celebration. And yet, a study completed this week by our staff showed interesting results: no one actually went to class. Where were they? Radiator Springs USA, also known as Disney’s Cars Land.

“I just figured, like, why take notes for my final when I could be standing in line for a fastpass at Mater’s Junkyard Jamboree?” a sophomore told us on Monday. We couldn’t answer the question. It made perfect sense. We decided to check out the parks for ourselves the next day.

Not only were USC students flocking to the newly renovated California Adventure, but the original Disneyland park was a popular choice as well. We found Trojans everywhere; wasted on the Astro Orbitor, puking near the Mad Tea Cups, and full on jumping off the boats of the Jungle Cruise.

“I’ve actually decided to drop my major and dance in the parade full time now that I’ve spent the week at Disneyland,” said a very excited theater major. “It’s just such a lifestyle here.” For some reason, we totally agreed with everything she said and blamed it on creepily persuasive Disney magic.

After returning home from Anaheim, we conducted a completely accurate second poll and found 99% of students preferred Mickey Mouse to classes. The missing 1% was later found having a rave in the Enchanted Tiki Room.