The Ronald Tutor Campus Center recently added a painted upright piano to the International Plaza. The piano, donated by a USC staff member and alumna, became available for anyone to play as part of the campus center’s “Art and Trojan Traditions” program.
The piano quickly gained so much of a following that frequent visitors began to put in requests; everything from classical repertoire to chart topping hits such as Coldplay’s “Clocks” and Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles.”
The pianists demonstrated intense musical proficiency, raising the bar each day in spontaneous piano playage. One student even reported that, while singing at the piano, the cast of Glee and a full orchestra appeared to back them up.
However, complaints began last week when the strains of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” broke out through the campus center around noon. The plaza went quiet. Students stopped eating their Panda Express and Lemonade to turn in the direction of the piano and glare. The message was clear: such a song would not be tolerated.
The biggest incident broke out two days ago when an eager freshman began to bang out “Chopsticks.”
“Personally, it annoyed me,” said a nearby student between mouthfuls of orange chicken. “Chopsticks? Really?”
“Song choice is important,” another student told us. “You want to make it here? Bring it. Wow us.”
“Chopsticks is not the way,” their friend added. “Plus there’s not a mash-up that works with it.”
After much complaint, the decision was made by the Campus Center piano community to ban “Chopsticks” for its overall lameness. Up next on the chopping block? Beethoven’s “Fur Elise.”