Your second best source for the week’s Daily Trojan Headlines

Greek groups focus on
new member integration

Mainly because Greek organizations would like to start a tradition
of having special activities that are just for new members for about one
semester before they get to officially join, because that’s a fresh new idea.

“Sweet Tenor”: USC
Thornton Concert choir performs

Sweet Jesus. Is this really such a rare occurrence that it
gets its own headline?

USC Seniors apply to
alternative career programs “hoping to make a difference”

And by alternative careers, they mean “the porn industry will
NEVER be the same when we’re done with it.”

Biology professor and
120 other scientists return from marine research expedition

Only to find out in an exciting televised finale that they
actually DID die in the crash of Oceanic flight 815!

Committee looks to
update the current GE curriculum

When I asked them “can I help you?” they said “oh no thanks,
we’re just looking.”

USC Thornton School of
Music has the last Jazz Night of the semester

“See you cool cats in January, skee dop baaaaa” is what I
think they said.

Student government
pushes for a fall break to occur in October

Guys, you’re too late.

Some think USC’s
proportion of part-time instructors is “a good thing”

Others, “not so much.”

Who earns the most at
USC: A list of the top 10 earners at USC

The LAPD clocks in at #1 with parking tickets. Fraternities
and sororities, you know who to look for next rush season.

Credit card usage at
USC rises in spite of national trend.

In our defense, read all of our armed robbery reports that
happen in the middle of the afternoon/dinnertime. Now YOU try carrying a lot of
cash around here!