At the 69th Annual
Golden Globe Awards last night there were many winners, the big ones being “The
Descendants,” “The Artist,” “Homeland,” and “Modern Family.” But a night that
brings many winners also brings about even more
losers. And while people may be upset that “Bridesmaids” didn’t win gold
nor did Leonardo DiCaprio walk away with an award for his portrayal of Orson
Welles’s forehead in “J. Edgar,” there is truly one loss that tarnishes the
entire awards ceremony”¦

“¦where the hell were “The Muppets?”

Seriously Hollywood Press
Association, I mean, for realsies. Where’s that love for the movie that y’all
gave a freakin’ 96% to on Rotten Tomatoes? That’s basically the same as the 97%
you have for “The Artist” and even higher than “The Descendants’” 89%. And yet,
nothing.

Well let me tell you something,
you’re just wrong. Not only could have “The Muppets” easily have won every
single award
of the night with ease, I’ve only selected a few of
the Golden Globe categories and the winners and why “The Muppets” definitely could
have (and should have) walked away with the gold.

Best Picture,
Drama

Winner: “The Descendants”

Should Have Won: “The Muppets”

That ending of “The Muppets” (Spoiler Alert) when they don’t
succeed in saving The Muppet Theatre”¦ #tearjerker. Forget George Clooney crying
over his soon to be dead wife, those Muppets not saving their theatre had me
weeping.

Best Picture,
Musical or Comedy

Winner: “The Artist”

Should Have Won: “The Muppets”

Um, it actually isa
musical anda comedy. That seems like
a no-brainer.

Best Actor, Drama

Winner: George Clooney, “The Descendants”

Should Have Won: Jason Segel, “The Muppets”

This. “Nuff said. javascript:nicTemp();

Best Actor,
Musical or Comedy

Winner: Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”

Should Have Won: Kermit the Frog, “The Muppets”

Not only does he turn in the performance of his career here,
but he is the single most underappreciated actor of our generation losing
Golden Globes before to nobodies like Peter Sellers (1979, “Being There”),
twice to Dudley Moore (1981, “Arthur,” 1984, “Micki & Maude”), and Tom
Cruise (1996, “Jerry Maguire”). Blasphemy.

Best Actress,
Drama

Winner: Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady”

Should Have Won: Amy Adams, “The Muppets”

I can’t even tell you how emotional it makes me to watch Amy
Adams stuff her mouth full of a Pink’s Hot Dog. javascript:nicTemp();

Best Actress,
Musical or Comedy

Winner: Michelle Williams, “My Week with Marilyn”

Should Have Won: Miss Piggy, “The Muppets”

Not only a better performance, but also the sexier between
the two.

Best Foreign
Language Film

Winner: “A Separation”

Should Have Won: “The Muppets”

This qualifies as it being foreign, for I have no idea what
they’re saying here. javascript:nicTemp();

Best Actor in a
Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Winner: Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”

Should Have Won: Chris Cooper, “The Muppets”

Though Christopher Plummer may have the upper hand at
playing gay, he’s got nothing on Chris Cooper’s mad rapping skills. Word.

Best Actress in a
Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Winner: Octavia Spencer, “The Help”

Should Have Won: Moopet Piggy, “The Muppets”

Terrifying. The scariest performance of the year. javascript:nicTemp();

Best Original Song
““ Motion Picture

Winner: “Masterpiece” by Madonna, “W/E”

Should Have Won: “Life’s a Happy Song” by The Muppets, “The
Muppets”

Madonna can suck it. javascript:nicTemp();

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