“Congratulations!” said an email that many students received this past week. “You have qualified for an unselective honor society entitled the National Society of People in College. You have managed to simply be a person in college. Everyone receives this honor (except people who don’t go to college), so you should be somewhat-not-really proud of your accomplishment.”
NSPC is the most premier of the average honor societies for mediocre-achieving first and second year undergraduates with more than 10,000 chapters across the country, including ITT Technical Institute of Technology, Everest College, Career University Online, and UCLA.
By joining NSPC, you will join an ordinary group of students nationwide, which includes hundreds of Costco card carriers, Draw Something users, as well as famous untalented people like Kim Kardashian and Carrot Top.
Please pay your one-time $14.95 membership fee to receive access to premier discounts at Long John Silver’s and Things Remembered. Society scholarships will be awarded granted enough people actually pay the $14.95 membership fee.”
Many USC students rejoiced at the prospect of joining NSPC. “I just feel really honored,” said a freshman. “I never thought I’d be able to join anything so selective, let alone get discounted fish.”
“My resume will finally shine!” said a sophomore. “I feel like this can really supplement my skills in Microsoft Word. I definitely haven’t been this happy since I won the Dean’s Award for Perfect Attendance.”
Most importantly, members of NSPC can also expect to receive bumper stickers for their proud parents with the slogan “My child goes to college!”