Campus was all atwitter in reaction to the opening of the
latest, hottest restaurant in town: LiSa’s College Restaurant.

Note the prominent S that definitely makes the name LISA and
not LIA. I most certainly am not responsible for starting this restaurant,

Moving on, last week LiSa’s College Restaurant opened its
repainted door (that coincidentally resembles the door to my apartment) to the
hungry hungry collegiate public. Within minutes, a line had formed out the
door, down the elevator, and into the street. At first many of the excited
patrons were under the false impression that they were in line to get a rare
look inside of MY apartment, but they were greatly mistaken. I gently informed
these people that they were in fact en route to a fantastically clever culinary
experience that had absolutely nothing to do with me.

“I just came to borrow the vaccum,” said my Brother, a
sophomore, who manages to live two doors down from my apartment AND LiSa’s
College Restaurant even though they are very distinct and separate locations.

Things really got cooking when people finally shut up about
the Spice Girls poster that allegedly looks “exactly like mine” and actually
sat down to eat. Customers were introduced to a wide selection of dare I say
ingenious cuisines designed by a brilliant chef way ahead of her time. LiSa’s

items include (but are not limited to):

Cereal (ramen with milk)

Stiff Tortilla n’ Peanut Butter w/ Crunchy Ramen center

Bunless Burger Patti Because There Are No Buns Here Anymore w/ a side of String

Frozen Grapes

and of course the enormously popular
Ramen Pepperoni Sandwich.

were eager to find out more about LiSa’s College Restaurant, with questions

“What did
you put in this?” ““ Terry, junior.

“Lia how
is this different from when you cooked last weekend?” ““ Leah Folta, USC
Basement Head Writer

you mean LiSa?” ““ Me, USC Basement Head Writer

“When can I leave?”- Laura, freshman

“Can I
get your recipe for that Ramen Pepperoni Sandwich?” ““ Homeless Man

Looks like
starting a college restaurant was the best idea LiSa ever had!

SEE MORE » , , ,