“In retrospect, it really wasn’t the best judgment on our part,” explained the Dean of Admissions. “We thought everyone would agree it was all in good fun, but…well, they didn’t.”
Over the weekend, USC Admissions sent out large-size envelopes, also known as “big envelopes” which are typically understood to be acceptance letters, however this particular batch had a twist.
“It was supposed to be obvious because mail was being delivered on a Sunday,” says George Finley, an admissions counselor. “You can’t get real mail on Sundays! Everyone knows that!!!!
Unsuspecting prospective USC students who received the envelopes were crushed to find the packages stuffed with a variety of mean-spirited rejection letters from the University of Southern California Admissions Office, only to be notified next day via US mail that all was fine.
“They started out pretty standard, saying they were unable to offer me admission, blah blah blah,” describes Peter Meven, a high school senior. “Then one just had a picture of the dictionary. It was the word Rejection. Guess whose picture was underneath?”
Potential students that got these letters were subjected to all kinds of creative insults, ranging from a list of reasons why the applicant would make a terrible lover all the way to “say hi to your mom for us.”
The Dean of Admissions is adamant about making their intentions clear. “We really weren’t trying to hurt anyone’s feelings,” he insists. “We just wanted people to feel awful for like… a day.”
According to USC officials, it does seem that the admissions team has learned its lesson.
“This time, the joke was on us.”