Think all of us USC Trojans can collectively say, “F*ck the Ducks.” (The asterisk is so my mom doesn’t get mad at me.) Bringing out less than illustrious record to a disappointing 4-3 this season, I found myself really hating all and any duck-ish entities. But I took a moment and realized that even though the Oregon Ducks are despicable and should be hunted down like we all did on our old Nintendo consoles, I realized that there are indeed still some ducks that are great (and obviously better than Oregon’s) and I thought we should take this time and commemorate them for not sucking.
10. The Aflac Duck
I love seeing this guy get beat up on those commercials. It’s because he’s so annoying that it’s great to watch him in pain. He’s kind of like the Johnny Knoxville of insurance commericals. And I think Johnny should take that as a compliment.
9. Plucky Duck
Remember this guy? From “Tiny Toons?” He was kind of like the bastard child of Daffy Duck and, well, Daffy Duck. He was like Daffy but cuter, younger, and crazier because he was a product of the 90’s.
8. Duck Tales
Life is like a hurricane. You got Huey, Dewey, Louie, Scrooge, Gizmo Duck, and more in this show about a world full of ducks. Definitely sounds creepier than it is. Also, got a catchy theme song.
7. Darkwing Duck
How can you be a duck and a badass at the same time? Darkwing Duck. That’s how. A crime fighting, purple loving duck with a great catch phrase (“Let’s get dangerous!”), a motley crew of sidekicks, and an impressive rogues gallery. A personal childhood hero and role model. Eat your heart out, Batman.
6. Howard the Duck
Yes, even a terrible, horrible, heart-attack inducing flick with a creepy talking duck is better than those Oregon Ducks. Mostly because Howard got to do what Michael J. Fox never got to, which is bang Lea Thompson.
5. Donald Duck
The original duck and the guy whose image the University of Oregon stole for their mascot.
But he’s still our main man duck who we all love. And also, he definitely looks better in blue than in that ugly green.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IfeuQ6Ayos
4. Daffy Duck
Between Daffy and Donald, Daffy reigns supreme. Daffy’s got more of a personality and an uninhibited sense of determination to get what he wants despite being constantly foiled by Bugs, but that doesn’t get him down. He’s got great one-liners, an awesome alter-ego (Duck Dodgers!), and “Duck Amuck” may be the greatest animated short of all time and it’s all because of this duck right here.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cH6i2Z6mTRE
3. Pringles Duck
The sexiest entry.
2. Peking Duck
Deliciousness is almost unbeatable. I mean, look at that thing. Succulent as hell.
1. A Real Duck
That’s right. Real ducks are better than stupid football playing ducks.