On Thursday, Harvard police arrested 27-year-old Abe Liu, who had been posing as a Harvard freshman “because [he] was lonely.” Sad? Yes. Weird? Yes. Spin-off script being written as we speak by National Lampoon starring an Asian Ryan Reynolds? There damn well better be!
Many Harvard students are upset about Liu’s actions. I personally think that Liu deserves some credit; he was able to successfully, up until now, trick the supposed “smartest” students in the country.
Still, one can’t help but wonder: if they’re so smart, why are they paying more than $60,000 a year in tuition? And also, why couldn’t they figure out that this dude was actually 27? If you open your eyes and use simple logic the clues are so obvious:
Clue One: his webpage is written in French. How old is the French language? Really, really old. Abe Liu speaks French. Ergo, Abe Liu is old.
Clue Two: they didn’t know he was in the room until they turned the camera. Who else can hide in plain sight like that? Ghosts. What else are ghosts? Dead. Why is something dead? It was probably old. Therefore, Abe Liu is old.
Clue Three: his nickname is the fridge. What comes with most fridges? Freezers. What else goes in freezers? Dead bodies. See above…Abe Liu is old.
Clue Four: THIS VIDEO HAS BEEN UP SINCE 2006!!!! You Google Abe Liu, you find the video, you see he was already in college at NC State, you notice he’s still a “freshman,” you call his old ass out on being 27 years old! Not the hardest detective work in the world.
What’s next, it’s going to turn out that the Winklevoss “twins” were actually just one dude playing two guys?