After getting negative reviews from college students who previously took the TIPS Alcohol Course, the TIPS Board of Directors has decided to make major changes to their curriculum. Previously, the course was designed to make college students aware of the dangers of binge drinking and what to do if a friend gets too drunk but its ineffectiveness has been readily criticized. “Our new plans will change the way college students drink alcohol and will hopefully lead to them drinking more responsibly.”
The first change that was made teaches students to drink as quickly as possible. In the past the course stressed the importance of monitoring the amount of alcohol you consume over a period of time. Now the course encourages students to pound drinks as rapidly as possible because if you get drunk really quickly there is a significantly less chance of getting alcohol poisoning.
The course also has a new section about how to take advantage of people that are too drunk. The curriculum states that if someone is falling all over and cannot form sentences then they most likely want to have sex with you. Any word other than no means yes. Additionally, if someone passes out with their shoes on, you must draw all over them in permanent marker.
Lastly, the course is now teaching students over the age of 21 how to serve alcohol to minors. TIPS advises you to charge at the door so that you can maximize your profits and give wristbands as people enter. If you happen to get caught, just claim that all the people under 21 stole the wristbands and claimed that they were 21.