Everyone knows the rules: guys finger, girls blow. Everyone except for Robert DiNapoli.
On Friday night, DiNapoli and his partner, Nick Smith, were in the midst of a “totally epic” game of beer pong. The rival team, headed by Mike Francesco and Tom Papas, had been dominating the match, but DiNapoli and Smith had come from behind to tie the game, leaving each team with two remaining cups.
“It was totally fuckin’ sick,” says Smith of the match. “We had those ass clowns beat.”
Until DiNapoli made the mistake of all mistakes.
Francesco let go with a high-arching shot that “looked like a rainbow, except, you know, white like a pong ball.” However, instead of heading straight into the hoppy goodness at the bottom of the cup, the ball detoured around the cup, spinning around and around. DiNapoli, trying to be quick, stuck his face down right near the cup and blew as hard as he could, forcing the ball right out of the cup.
And forcing his own balls right out of his sac.
DiNapoli was immediately greeted by finger-pointing by the other team, while screams of, “You little bitch!” and “Fucking pussy!” echoed through the party where the music had screeched to a stop, like in a corny “90s teen movie.
“I knew I needed to react quickly,” says DiNapoli, “but I didn’t really think out the repercussions of a guy blowing during a game of pong.”
The repercussions were that DiNapoli instantly transformed into a woman, sprouting luscious breasts, growing a mane of hair on his/her head and losing all facial hair, and ultimately gaining a pretty female figure.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Smith, DiNapoli’s partner. “He was standing right next to me, and then all of a sudden, he was a”¦she. A pretty hot she, too.”
While most of the party-goers fled the house in fear, the opposing team took the opportunity to further mock DiNapoli.
“It’s one thing to call a guy a bitch for blowing during a game of pong,” said Francesco, “but it’s another thing for the guy to actually turn into a bitch,” adding, “Fuckin’ classic shit right there.”
Papas agreed, and he and Francesco “stood there laughing for a few minutes, calling him a pussy.”
“I mean, we couldn’t let him live it down,” said Papas. “Except then I realized that Robbie was lookin’ kinda hot. Kinda really hot. So we hooked up. All in all, it was a pretty epic night.”