We here at Campus Basement came to a conclusion last week: Jeremy Lin is Asian! We had no idea.

After this sank in, we brainstormed new segments and decided we need more music stuff on our site. And so, without further ado, we present to you the first installment of Frat Party Music (Blank) Years Ago, starting in the lovely year of 2006.

Ah, 2006. I’m a high school senior/college freshman. The Departed is coming out soon! People are talking like Borat, but it hasn’t quite gotten old yet. (“I like you! High five!”) And when I head out to frat parties, I hear the sweet sounds of, “Hey, freshman, get the hell off our lawn!” But before being kicked off the premises, I hear from inside the frat:

5. Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean: “Hips Don’t Lie” ““ There isn’t a girl in the world who didn’t like this song. At my senior prom, this was all they played. Four straight hours of Shakira and Wyclef speaking to the truth-leaning tendencies of one’s hips. Fast forward to August of 2006, the opening trumpet riff echoes off the Keystone-covered floor followed by the screams of each girl in the party and the audible eye rolling of her male counterpart. “¿Cómo se llama? Bonita. Mi casa. Su casa.” Brilliant prose. Almost as good as”…

4. Yung Joc: “It’s Goin’ Down” ““ Indeed it is. “Where?” you ask. Don’t worry, Yung Joc has listed several places at which it is, in fact, guaranteed to go down, namely: in the trap, in the mall, in the club, and””pay attention, this one is crucial””anywhere you meet him. Regardless of this song’s proclivity for threats (at least I assume “it’s goin’ down” is a threat”¦) the song did induce some excellent grinding: for some, it was the grinding of teeth as they were forced to listen to this song for the 907th time; for others, it was a much more pleasant type of grind, as pleasant as “a Chevy wit the butterfly doors.”

3. Chamillionaire’s “Ridin’ Dirty” ““ Not to be confused with Weird “Al” Yankovic’s spoof, “White & Nerdy,” this song had everything. And by everything, I mean that 90% of the lyrics consisted of repeating the phrase, “Tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty!” Somehow, a song about police injustice made its way into fraternity nightlife and took on a sexual connotation. How this phenomenon happened, I’ll never know. But I do know that nothing made punch scooped from a toilet bowl taste so sweet as Chamillionaire’s smooth flow.

2. Sean Paul: “Temperature” ““ To be honest, I didn’t know there were lyrics to this song. Up until today, when I looked them up, I just assumed this was a recording of a man with Tourette Syndrome (whose tic is saying “Baby girl!”) listening to people clapping. After looking up the lyrics”¦I still don’t know what he’s saying. Do you? “Well, woman, the way the time cold I wanna be keepin’ you warm.” Has his clock been outside in a blizzard? Or how about, “Make I see the gal them bruk out pon the floor?” …..What? Seriously, if anyone actually knows what this song is about, I will give you the right temperature for shelter you from the storm. Regardless, this song was the jam at frat parties. During the chorus at least. During the verse, there was just a lot of confusion.

1. Fergie: “London Bridges” ““ Possibly the most brilliantly composed song of all time, Fergie set the tone for the Black Eyed Peas’ rise to stardom (“Where is the Love?” Please. I’ll take “Boom Boom Pow” any day.) with her carefully crafted song about”¦um”¦come to think of it, I have no idea what this song is about. Upon close inspection of a few random verses (“When I come to the clubs, step aside (oh shit!)” or “I’m Fergie Ferg and me love you long time (oh shit!)”) I concluded that this song is, in fact, about the hardships faced by the British when bridging the Thames. Who knew Fergie was so into history and philosophy? She poses the age-old question: How come every time you come around my London (London) bridge wanna go down like (London, London, London)? I don’t know, Fergie. I just don’t know.

Honorable Mention: Lil’ Jon’s “Snap Yo Fingers,” Dem Franchize Boyz’s “Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It,” Pussycat Dolls feat. Snoop’s “Buttons,” and Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy.” What ever happened to Gnarls Barkley? Wait, that’s Cee Lo?!

Note: I have bashed each of these songs, they’re still in my iTunes from 2006. Top 40 radio: the best hate-love relationship of them all.