Dearest CollegeMags,

Choosing your classes each semester is integral to your happiness as a college student. Some people think it’s a science, I prefer to think of it as an art. And CollegeMags, by the end of our college career we get very artistic

Not to brag, but during our last semester in Grad School we were able to make a schedule where we only had classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And those classes started at 12:30. Don’t hate.

If only there were some way that we could have known how to work the class registration like a boss, as we do after many years of practice. Oh, wait. I know. I CAN SEND YOU A LETTER FROM THE FUTURE. Time/Space manipulation is so convenient.

There are four things to keep in mind when registering for classes. In order of importance they are:

  1. 1. TIME

There is a simple, yet oft-overlooked fact you must burn into your brain: 8AM CLASSES ARE FOR SUCKERS. 

The only people in an 8AM class are nerdy nerdfaces who can’t wait to get to nerd class at nerd-o-clock in the morning and slackers who registered for that class five minutes prior and who probably smell of some weird mix of axe body spray, sweat, and dining hall omelets. Under no circumstances are you to take an 8AM class. 

Oh, I’m sorry, it’s a required course for you to finish your major? Change majors. 


Your professors have a lot of control over your general well-being for the semester. Keeping this in mind, your professor should be at least one of the following three things: super easy, very entertaining, or crazy hot. The last of the three obviously trumps everything else.

How serious am I about choosing classes based on the hotness of professors? Senior year we take a class called MILTON. That’s right, an entire semester on John Milton. Why suffer through such anguish? Huge crush-o on the prof. I mean, I don’t remember anything about Milton except that he wrote Paradise Lost. I think. And that our Professor had a certain piece of hair that would swoop across his face when he was getting really passionate about the lesson. Swoon.

  1. 3. LOCATION

Here is where a little planning comes in. Make sure your classes are stacked together and close to one another on campus. You don’t want to be running around from building to building all day. Remember? You’re lazy. And being lazy is cool. And being cool is the only thing that matters in college. Or in life really.

If all your classes can all be in the same building, great. If they can all be in the same classroom, well, then you’ve beaten the system. Well played.


You know what, if you have any of the other three this last one doesn’t matter at all.




photo source