Groupon University: Groupon now offers a 60% discount on a graduate teaching program at National Louis University. This means that teachers will now have an answer to the age-old question, “What made you become a teacher?”: “There was a discount on Groupon.”
Anyone Wanna Go Halfsies?: UMass Amherst began the semester by creating the world’s largest stir-fry, weighing 4,010 pounds. Immediately after, they built the world’s largest bong and ate the entire thing. And then ordered a pizza.
(Old Folks) Home Improvement: Jonathan Taylor Thomas (also known as JTT) turned 30 this week. I think I speak for everyone when I say, “When are you going to learn to stand up to your mean older brother Brad?”
Final Exam: Linn State Technical University announced that it will begin drug testing every student on campus. Every student on campus has since decided to drop out.
Weather Or Not: Rain has drenched the northeast all week, leading many to wonder ridiculous questions like, “Is it the end of the world?” “Is John Cusack going to fly in and save me?” and “Why is Shark Night 3D rated PG-13?!”