tagged women »

Article by hmerkt
November 4, 2012

Candidates Seek Women’s Vote By Slyly Condescending Just Like Mom Used To

With the election swiftly approaching like a hurricane, and each candidate trying to be the one to leave half the nation in devastation, the race for votes has never been closer. Earlier this week Gov. Mitt Romney learned that women now have the right to vote, and that he has completely neglected the demographic. As... MORE »

October 5, 2012

Hookup on the Row Leads to Actual Feelings, Greek Community “Shocked”

He was in a pastel pink tank top and Chinos. She was in a white blouse and black short shorts. His wayfarers were falling off his face. She had someone’s underwear on her head. Separately, they were merely fodder for another night on the Row. Together, however, they presented something revolutionary. “It was shocking,” recounted... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
April 14, 2012

Poll shows men wearing formal or business-casual clothes considered “distracting,” “super hot”

The unanimous results of the latest poll of the attracted-to-men community contains one surprising gem: dressed-up dudes are really hot. “I keep having to remind myself not to stare,” says an anonymous junior of the days her business class dresses up for presentations. When asked if she’d maybe be more productive if there were no... MORE »

March 20, 2012

Campus Basement Sexy Stock Photo March Madness

March Madness is typically a time equated with college basketball, gambling, binge drinking, and complaining to your Facebook friends about how your bracket is totally ruined because some no-name school beat the Lakers. But we at Campus Basement also equate March Madness with sex. Hot, steamy, sex. And since nobody will give us permission to... MORE »

Article by BradBabendir
March 19, 2012

Study: anyone who has eaten red meat ever died or probably will soon

In recent weeks, multiple studies have been published and widely publicized about how Red Meat relates to the mortality rate of those who consume it. The study showed that eating unprocessed Red Meat raised the mortality risk by 13% and processed by 20%. However, yesterday a far more troubling study was released: the mortality rate... MORE »

Article by Max Lehman
March 19, 2012

Happy Sundress Day

Patiently, all men on campus are waiting for the first day of spring. Nay, I am not talking about March 20th. Do you take us men for mere astronomers? Fie on you, knaves!* I am discussing the REAL first day of spring which nears ever sooner, thanks to one of the balmiest winters ever experienced... MORE »

Article by jillboard
March 18, 2012

How To Celebrate International Women’s Day

Mahwah, NJ - Finally, International Women’s Day has graced us with its presence. Ladies, this is our day to shine. This day is all about us, so spend it wisely. To the gentlemen, it’s ONE DAY, just let us have it. If you’re not sure how to celebrate International Women’s Day, we’ve got some ways to... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
February 14, 2012

A Brief History of St. Valentine: Patron saint of ruining new couples

The 3rd century Roman was martyred for forcing people who were dating to decide too early whether they wanted to commit to an expensive night of manufactured romance. He was slowly burned to death by a crowd of bitter singles and angry casual daters. FUN FACT: Stupid presents are a vestigial relationship tradition, invented when... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
February 6, 2012

Survey says 96% of women’s friends “could do so much better”

When polled randomly about their heterosexual lady-friends’ objects of affection, 96% of female students claimed a decisive “she could do so much better than him!” Follow up quotes from those surveyed were illuminating about the reasons why: “I tell her she could do so much better every day,” one freshman says sadly. “In a world... MORE »