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Article by hmerkt
February 1, 2013

Student Asks Question To Prove He Doesn’t Need To Do So

As the second week of the semester closes, the material being covered in classes is finally starting to touch outside the realm of common sense. As we roll into week three the girl getting over some weight issues who just got her fake ID will once again be easier than your classes, and all will... MORE »

January 29, 2013

Student Leader Attends Weekend Retreat, Roommate Farts All Over Belongings In Absence

Adam Houser, 19, came under intense scrutiny this week when roommate Jamie Parks, 20, returned to their shared dorm room after a weekend retreat for his on-campus organization and immediately discerned differences in the olfactory qualities of the space. “Something smelled off,” said Parks, “like some kind of spoiled food. It’d been a pretty long... MORE »

Article by hmerkt
November 29, 2012

USC Puts An End To Student Protest By Re-Mulching Trousdale

With tensions steadily rising in the middle east, the Israeli and Palestinian communities at USC took it upon themselves to show their support by having a protest-off right in the middle of campus. With the actual situation in the middle east not moving forward the student protest were forced to just see who could be... MORE »

Article by hmerkt
November 18, 2012

Matt Barkley Experiences Low-Point Montage After Being Defeated By UCLA

Last night as the UCLA Bruins spiked the ball down to run out the clock and stamp their name on the games victory, both the rains and a sense of extreme disappointment in our quarterback, Matt Barkley, descended over the campus of USC. A downtrodden Barkley, taking the loss to heart, flipped up the collar... MORE »

Article by Cailin Lowry
November 18, 2012

50 Reasons for Arrogance, Part II

We lost a football game. It’s sad. The margin wasn’t quite 50 – 0 (yep, still have bragging rights on that one), but we still lost. Don’t worry (I know you weren’t), Trojans. Your arrogance is still well deserved. And here are the next twenty-five reasons why: 1.     The benefits of a private university: Google... MORE »

Article by Cailin Lowry
November 17, 2012

50 Reasons for Arrogance, Part I

It is difficult to explain the USC-UCLA rivalry to an outsider: Trojan arrogance and understood superiority runs deep and cannot always be rationalized. In light of the game tomorrow (and UCLA’s recent bout with trying to tear down our traditions), here are fifty reasons you can feel content with your arrogance. Fifty seemed like an... MORE »

Article by Harris Mayersohn
November 16, 2012

UCLA “Vandalism” Believed to be Work of Banksy

Tension and unease have been running high on the two major college campuses in the Los Angeles area over the course of the past week. In the lead-up to the annually contentious UCLA-USC football game, pranks and insults have grown more vicious than in recent years. In reaction to a rule change preventing the USC... MORE »

Article by Quinn Sosna-Spear
November 14, 2012

UCLA’s Humble Requests of USC Before The Game

As the objective liaison between USC and UCLA, it is my duty to present to USC a list of grievances made by UCLA. They hope that USC fans will take them into serious consideration due to the fact that UCLA is having a really hard time right now. Not only do they suffer debilitating budget... MORE »

Article by hmerkt
November 11, 2012

Girl On Bicycle Uses Hand Signals Like An Old Pro

Early this morning, at the intersection of McClintock and Jefferson, a masterful exhibition in balance and composure was held by a student riding her bike through the intersection. Coming from the direction of the Century Apartments, (where the food trucks always park for you freshmen) she elegantly raised her left hand at a seemingly pre-measured... MORE »