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The Story of Syllabus Week
Syllabus Week, known as the “Festival of Natty Lights” to many, will soon be upon us once more. Though widely celebrate by most college students, there are many who have forgotten the true meaning of the weeklong celebration. To remind us why we celebrate Syllabus Week, we have decided to retell the story of how... MORE »
15 Things I’m Thankful For
Because time moves too quickly in college I’m not really sure what Thanksgiving is about anymore (pilgrims?? Genocide? I dunno), but the one thing I do recall is that people say what they’re thankful for, and so I’ve compiled a list to read out at the dinner table tomorrow: 1. The Mucho Mango smoothie at the SCA... MORE »
The Five Types of Political Facebook Users
In case this is literally the first thing you’ve seen in the past 24-ish hours, let me deliver the news to you: President Barack Obama is still President Barack Obama and it’ll be another four years until we call him former President Barack Obama. Michelle is still around (yay!), we’ll see Malia hit the big... MORE »
Windows Media Player wins Florida’s Electoral Votes
The voting machine issues that once again plagued The Sunshine State this election seemed to have been resolved with the decision to award Florida’s 29 electoral votes to Windows Media Player. The default software won nearly 80% of the votes cast after Dieitalics Voting Systems employees accidentally left the “open at start-up box” checked-in. Many... MORE »
Local Uninformed Idiot Guilted Into Voting By Facebook Friends
Election Day: Local dimwit John Thurpwood was guilt-tripped by his Facebook friends into visiting his designated polling place and voting in the US presidential election today, despite not knowing anything about the candidates or their positions on various political issues. “I wasn’t really going to vote since I’m not into politics and I didn’t watch... MORE »
Candidates Seek Women’s Vote By Slyly Condescending Just Like Mom Used To
With the election swiftly approaching like a hurricane, and each candidate trying to be the one to leave half the nation in devastation, the race for votes has never been closer. Earlier this week Gov. Mitt Romney learned that women now have the right to vote, and that he has completely neglected the demographic. As... MORE »
Obama and Romney Agree to Disagree, Cancel Final Debate
US presidential candidates Barack Obama and Mitt Romney have mutually decided to cancel the final televised debate tonight, citing the fact that no matter how much they argue back and forth, there’s really nothing they can say at this point that will change each other’s or viewers’ minds and they should probably just go ahead... MORE »
CONSPIRACY THEORIES: Why Does Obama Keep Coming to the U?
Heeee’s Baraaacck! That’s right ladies and gentleman, President Barack Obama has made yet another trip down to the U—his 3rd visit in only 8 months…Coincidence? I THINK NOT! The Miami basement staff is determined to leave no ROCK unturned and to expose our President’s secret motives. 1. Love child with Donna Shalala You heard it... MORE »
Rainy day? Needs More Water
Ramapo has been doing all it can to ensure a more ‘green’ and economic campus over the past few years. In an effort to be even more sustainable, the executive board has confirmed its decision to only activate the college’s sprinklers during rainstorms. Whether it be a light drizzle or torrential monsoon, hundreds of expensive,... MORE »