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Last Thursday night Freshman Doyle Matheson admitted in conversation with a member of the opposite sex that he was “really into sports.” “Ladies love guys that are really into sports,” said Matheson, “which explains why I get it in on the regs.” As evidence of his love of sports, Matheson receives ESPN updates to his... MORE »
I woke up today thinking it would be any regular Sunday: completely naked, my head laying over the side of my bed, desperately trying to avoid the sunrise shining through the pathetic excuse for curtains and onto my face. But then I saw the news, that glorious and long-awaited news, that the NHL lockout has... MORE »
Columbia, Missouri- Scandal and college sports, it would seem, go hand in hand. During a routine pre-season blood test, the blood work of five members of the MU men’s basketball team came back clear of all substances. As if this fact wasn’t shocking enough on its own, it was uncovered that the five, all freshmen... MORE »
Carefully checking her makeup using the selfie-mode of her iPhone 4s, Mary hides behind a trash can, lying in wait for the moment when Freshmen tight end Jack (whose name has been changed for his own personal safety) leaves his room, at which point she will pop up and accidentally bump into him, thus striking... MORE »
Following a flurry of angry calls and emails from parents of Olympic athletes, the International Olympic Committee has discontinued the 118-year tradition of only awarding the top three competitors of each event with gold, silver, and bronze medals. As of Friday, all London 2012 Olympians will automatically be given a gold medal just for participating... MORE »
It has recently come to our attention that the Galen Dining Center, also known as “where the football team eats” to campus tour guides, has gone unnoticed for many during their time at USC. What is the Galen Dining Center, you ask? That’s exactly what Steve Flanders, a graduating senior, asked too. “I just never... MORE »