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Article by Jonfen
December 16, 2011

Mann Library Sees Increased Attendance Through Rental of Sex Rooms

In attempt to attract more students to the library and to reduce student stress during finals week, Mann library converted all of its rarely-used study rooms into sex rooms. This initiative was sponsored by  Cornell CARES, and proved to be a major hit over the course of study week. “Hardly anybody would ever rent out... MORE »

Article by USC Staff
December 16, 2011

Weekly Sex with the CB Staff: Cheating?

Once a week has never been so satisfying. Weekly Sex ““ My girlfriend wants to “take a break” over winter break. I know this is to have some… freedom at home, which I’m actually excited to take advantage of myself, but the thought of my girlfriend with anyone else kills me. I know that’s a... MORE »

Article by Piliour
December 14, 2011

Dear Frat Brothers…Sincerely, Reply All

Dear Joe Frat: It’s me, Reply All. Remember me? Of course you do. To many of you, I’m simply known as Reply. Unfortunately, Reply is my brother. My parents weren’t very creative, and because my brother is more of a private, shy guy, they figured they’d try again with me, maybe see if they could... MORE »

Article by Kahrispy
December 12, 2011

Professors looking forward to stress, sexual thrill, of finals week

Finals week is known within the bowels of every college across the country, and DeVry, as “more brootal” than even the most hymen shattering and sticky of frat initiations. Adderall, rope, and razor blade stocks all shoot sky high (but nowhere near as high as the students) and many freshman are weeded out, opting to... MORE »

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December 10, 2011

Bernie Fine Fired by Syracuse University Amid ESPN’s Audio Tape Release with Wife

University fires Fine hours after ESPN aired audio recordings with coach’s wife. For more on this story go here: https://abcn.ws/ugPgEI MORE »

Article by apost
December 10, 2011

Finals Fornication

It is terribly important that we all at Cornell, get A’s on every exam and every paper. But, the most important weeks of our year come in December and May. Finals week. From interviews and experience Cornell Basement has found that the ultimate key to success during Finals Week is sex. Yes, you can be... MORE »

Article by USC Staff
December 9, 2011

Weekly Sex with the CB Staff: Virginity

Dear Weekly Sex, With all the different kinds of sex out there, I was wondering what you all think it means to lose your virginity, or be a virgin? – No Reason Just Wondering, sophomore Dear Mr./Ms. Wondering, Whoa. Are you telling me that other stuff counts towards your non-virgin status? Why have I never... MORE »

Picture by apost
December 9, 2011

Warren Hall Hopes You Are Practicing Safe Studying

As finals week progresses Cornell Administrative staff wish all of the students a safe and healthy experience. Walking to Mann today it was difficult NOT to notice the giant blown-up condoms coming out of Warren Hall. Let it be a reminder to us all on this fine day: you’re super horny, but you’re in the... MORE »

Article by Piliour
December 8, 2011

Blog of a Frat Bro: Finals Week Edition

‘Sup, my nuggets? That’s the safest way I can use the word I should be allowed to use, but fuckin’ peepz don’t get that I’m fuckin’ Sirius: mad black, yo. Dat’s da bull standard for ya, da bullshit standard. N E way, hope your all treatin’ you’re final exams like butts and stickin’ it to... MORE »