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Article by Leah Folta
March 31, 2012

Graduating student realizes she missed the “weird hair window”

“I never thought I’d be someone who DIDN’t cut half my hair off and dye it red,” says Elle, a grad student finishing school in May. She has recently realized what many students do – there’s a small window in which to experiment with extreme hairstyles, after which being taken seriously by the squarer members... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
March 23, 2012

Health center now has vaccine to protect sexually active students against Feelings

Feelings is a sexually transmitted disease in the same vein as pregnancy – when wanted, it can be a beautiful thing. When unwanted, as is often the case during college years, it can ruin lives. “My day to day is pretty manageable,” says Alex, a sophomore whose Feelings escalated to Hurt Feelings and to full-blown... MORE »

Article by loganor
March 17, 2012

Spring Break Airport Bingo!!! Git Crunk wit SBAPB!

It’s almost spring break. That means many of you are almost at the airport, about to crack open a brand new Hustler Magazine copy of the newspaper and a KING SIZED SNICKERS bottle of water. While this is a civilized way to kill time, why not make a drunken fool of yourself instead? Campus Basement... MORE »

Article by Jared Martin
March 17, 2012

Columbians Withhold Sex Over Obama Controversy, Barnard Women Rejoice

On Saturday, March 3rd, Lindsay Lohan debuted her new inflatable face on Saturday Night Live, scaring children, parole officers, and Aaron Samuelsez across this great nation. In equally exciting news, March 3rd brought with it the announcement that President Barack Obama will be speaking at Barnard College, the most prestigious of all female colleges barring Rupaul’s... MORE »

Article by Jonfen
March 17, 2012

Promiscuous Daily Sun Photographer Catalogues 161 O-Faces of Cornell

In a special feature of Monday’s Daily Sun, libidinous Sun photographer Stephanie Adams ’13 unveiled a year-long project in which she captured the euphoric faces of 161 Cornell men and women mid-orgasm, and then edited the photos into black and white. The 4-page long spread encapsulates the diversity of the Cornell study body, through its... MORE »

Article by ramapops
March 17, 2012

Raised Tuition Money to Benefit Overweight Space Creatures in Star Wars Galaxy

After much speculation and whispering amongst students, the truth is finally out about where the money from all the recent tuition increases at Ramapo College has been going. In one of his famous, “Message from the President” emails, Dr. Peter Mercer addressed the students of Ramapo College, informing them that their hard earned tuition expenses... MORE »

USC »
Article by Leah Folta
March 2, 2012

Graduating senior decides not to leave

Hi, school. We’ve been together for over 16 years now. I know you’re in your 130s and that doesn’t seem like a long time, but it’s 16/21 of my life and I don’t know why you’re doing this to me. I guess I always knew the graduating thing was coming. College is this cushy, insulated... MORE »

Article by ramapops
February 28, 2012

Study: Collegiate Sports Lead to School Spirit; College Officials Outraged

MAHWAH, NJ: A disturbing new study done at Ramapo College of New Jersey seems to link participation and/or support of campus athletic teams to a dramatic increase in school spirit. According to Ramapo census takers, who conducted the survey by repeatedly sending out duplicates of the same email until students got tired of sending it... MORE »