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Article by carolineoreilly
February 6, 2013

Top Ten Pop Culture Predictions of 2013

1. Kim Kardashian gives birth on live television, baby Kimye eats its way out of Kim’s uterus Twilight-style. Kris Jenner promptly sells the newborn’s life rights to E!. 2. Anne Hathaway punches Best Actress winner Jessica Chastain at the Oscars: “I SHAVED MY HEAD FOR THIS.” 3. Leonardo DiCaprio decides to move to daytime television... MORE »

Article by natkirst
January 8, 2013

Cool College Guy Claims He’s Really Into Sports And Having Sex With Women

Last Thursday night Freshman Doyle Matheson admitted in conversation with a member of the opposite sex that he was “really into sports.” “Ladies love guys that are really into sports,” said Matheson, “which explains why I get it in on the regs.” As evidence of his love of sports, Matheson receives ESPN updates to his... MORE »

Article by loganor
May 2, 2012

Kill, Fuck, Marry: Cheese. Slow Jamz Edition.

This week I have a lot of work. I am also creating the greatest article ever written for campus basement of all time in the history of the world ever. While you are waiting, please enjoy my KFM: C. Kthxbai. MORE »

Article by jillboard
April 26, 2012

Dating at Ramapo; The Guys’ Guide

Dating at Ramapo is the trickiest of trades. It’s the epicenter of sexual frustration. Most girls at Ramapo have considered going lesbian to avoid having to hook up with one more Ramabro, but we already discussed that in The Girls’ Guide to dating at Ramapo. Thus, it is only fair to emotionally scar the Ramababes as well.... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
April 14, 2012

Poll shows men wearing formal or business-casual clothes considered “distracting,” “super hot”

The unanimous results of the latest poll of the attracted-to-men community contains one surprising gem: dressed-up dudes are really hot. “I keep having to remind myself not to stare,” says an anonymous junior of the days her business class dresses up for presentations. When asked if she’d maybe be more productive if there were no... MORE »

Article by jillboard
April 13, 2012 1 Comment

Dating At Ramapo; The Girls’ Guide

When it comes to dating at Ramapo, it’s easy to say that one would rather succumb to prison sex than settle for a horny, chauvinistic Ramamale. As most of us girls know, (or gay guys), it’s slim pickens on this campus. Sifting through the hoards of normal-looking commuters can be tiring. However, it’s not as... MORE »

Article by NoahBakst
April 6, 2012

Not Guitaring Laid?

  After months of research, your team of Michigan CampusBasement scientists has made a shocking discovery. Gentlemen, playing the guitar will no longer get you laid. Recent reports state that finger picking your way into panties has plucked its final note. It was a joke to Dylan; your father had it easy. Playing in a... MORE »

Article by Nicole G
April 4, 2012

Student reveals he is going home this weekend just to have sex

Watson Hall Quad 407 is buzzing with excitement. Three of its residents are going home this weekend to celebrate an important religious holiday: Drew Collins is headed back for Easter. Ben Schwartz and Mark Allen for Passover. However, its fourth resident, Jack Turney, is going home for a more important reason. “I’m going home to... MORE »