-
Campus Basement Newsletter!
-
It's #Follow WEDNESDAY
Follow @campusbasement -
Partners
- 21 alcohol basketball beer boeheim campus christmas classes college dorms dps drinking drugs drunk facebook finals food fraternities frats freshman freshmen funny girls halloween holidays library love money movies music ncaa newhouse otto parties professors sex snow sororities sports students student sketches washu weather winter women
tagged science »
Parents refuse another bailout though sophomore says she is “too big to fail”
“I made a bad business decision. I understand that now,” an anonymous* student** says, of the six months’ food money she spent this week on airplane tickets, tequila, sunscreen, Mexican-jail-bribe money and large amounts of cocaine (“as a joke!” she insists, rolling her eyes). “I am an institution! In my hall, in my study groups,... MORE »
USC scientists find causality between Impact font and laughter
Science finally got to the bottom of the text-superimposed-over-image meme appeal, and it could not have happened sooner. To everyone’s surprise and delight, the humor in a meme has nothing to do with the content and everything to do with the font. “Believe it or not, the human brain actually functions in fonts. For example,... MORE »
Complete stegosaurus fossil turns out to be Cheerios, broken bits of Cheerios
The entire scientific community held its collective breath last week when the most complete Stegosaurus fossil yet discovered was announced via press release. The press release reported that the nearly complete remains of the 27-foot armored stegosaurid dinosaur were discovered on a kitchen floor in Columbia, MO. “As there was never a precedent for the... MORE »
“Open Mike Night” not the same as “Open Mic Night” says Medical Student
A dozen or so eager students arrived in the basement of the Medical Sciences Building last night with acoustic guitars and crumpled notebook pages heavy with the ink of fresh poetry. The sudden appearance of knit caps and Chuck Taylor’s amongst the sea of surgical scrubs and face masks surprised the med students, who were... MORE »
Report: 90% of Mizzou undergraduate students “seem mad “
The Dept. of Psychology at the University of Missouri has just released the results of a groundbreaking 10-year study conducted by Dr. Bram Wiesel entitled “U MAD BRO, U SEEM MAD: A look at anger in college age populations.” The results indicate that, among the 1,876 students surveyed, over 90% between the ages of 18-22... MORE »
Recent Study Finds Cornell Cool Complex (CCC) Begins in Sophomore Year
The CCC has been speculated about amongst social scientists at Cornell University for many years. Until now the complex has never been able to be understood or analyzed seeing as the onset has been unclear. No longer do we have to merely hypothesize! “There seems to be an existing trend in some of the undergraduate... MORE »
Acclaimed Cornell Quantum Physicist Admits “We make shit up 75 percent of the time”
This past weekend Cornell University hosted the Annual Eastern Seaboard Quantum Physics Consortium. The event, attended by hundreds of physicists studying Quantum Mechanics and Astro-Physics, was the stage of a shocking revelation. In his opening remarks, Professor Steve Holtz declared to a crowd of 700 that most of Quantum Mechanics is “make believe”. Holtz, who graduated... MORE »
Syracuse Drops All Hard Science Courses
It was reported today that after this semester, Syracuse University will no longer carry “hard science” courses, opting instead to allow students to fulfill the requirement with much softer sciences, such as Earth Science, Astronomy and Pottery. This decision was made after scheduling commenced and the University realized that there were a total of 4... MORE »
Scientists Discover Pong Water Cup cures AIDS, Cancer, other diseases
It’s an age-old custom in a game of beer pong: After the other team takes their shot, you drop the ball into a water cup, obviously thereby eliminating the bacteria potentially collected on the table or in the beer cups, or from that disgusting basement floor if your opponents are really bad. Everyone in college... MORE »