tagged politics »

Article by G-Nonymous
November 9, 2011

Report: Marijuana Would Totally be Legal If Stoners Weren’t Too Lazy To Actually Take Action

This past Wednesday, researchers at the Cornell Department of Policy Analysis and Management were shocked to discover that marijuana would totally be legal if stoners weren’t too lazy to actually take political action on the issue.   “After conducting a thorough and comprehensive analysis on cannabis facts, we were surprised to find that there is... MORE »

Article by Lia Woodward
October 19, 2011

Notorious hot button issue ends in hugs thanks to the magic of 4am conversation

There are many from this campus, this country, and probably even the world that never thought a long standing, unanswerable, hot button issue could reach an amicable conclusion, but a group of USC students proved everyone wrong several nights ago.   Last Saturday (or Sunday, depending on your worldview) at around midnight, Joanie Kershing, a... MORE »

Article by Piliour
September 4, 2011

Week in Review

Dart-meth: Randy Lambreghts was arrested last Sunday for cooking meth in his apartment. Upon being notified of the meth lab Lambreghts was running out of his dorm room, univeristy and city officials immediately handled the crisis by going on Netflix and watching Breaking Bad. Sources say they’re halfway through season 3. Irene-eous!: Hurricane Irene ripped... MORE »

Article by apost
May 19, 2011

Donald Trump: He Couldn’t Take on the Whole Country…Next Stop; Cornell

With no plans for more buildings with his name on them to be built in Manhattan this summer, Donald Trump is out of work. Well, a slew of construction companies are out of work. But seeing as all of the world’s skanks are out looking for Charlie Sheen now #winning, poor Donald Trump #loosing needs... MORE »

Article by Joshua Scarcella
December 1, 2010

TLC Adds Shows Featuring Weirdoes to Make Palin Seem Normal

We hope you like your crazies, because TLC is bringing them to a television near you. After finding success with 19 and Counting and Sister Wives, TLC has ordered ten more reality pilots in hopes to make Sarah Palin seem more normal. Palin’s contract specifically states that if the network fails to make her appear... MORE »