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Use of Blue Lights Causes Panic Among DPS, SPD
A few weeks ago it was announced that Syracuse University would increase its number of Blue Light systems on campus. For those unaware, the Blue Light is for emergencies, like when you’re being chased by a serial rapist or you fear you’re being followed or when it’s “fuckin’ balls cold and I don’t wanna walk... MORE »
Crime on Campus
sounds familiar? MORE »
Mayfest Lives On! Sort Of…
On Friday, Mayfest was in full swing. But it wasn’t all Pythagorean theorems and hypotenuses like Mayor Miner wanted. Euclid was hopping. And so, in an effort to prevent fun of any kind from happening, SPD decided to hit a cyclist. Around 10 AM, Officer Doofy of the Syracuse Police Department was driving along, searching... MORE »
Stop! In the Name of Incompetency!
On Friday, a stop sign was stolen from Lancaster Avenue. Upon learning of its theft, the Syracuse Police Department immediately put 99% of its resources into finding the stop sign and reprimanding the perpetrators. “How will people know whether to stop or not?” asks SPD Chief Steve Grabowski. “We need that sign back or else”¦it’d... MORE »
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