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Jesus Misses Easter, Too Hungover
After 3 straight days of partying, Jesus Christ, 33, awoke yesterday on April 8 to realize something awful – he had missed Easter. “I literally remember nothing about the past 3 days,” Jesus said to our crack-investigative team. “And then I woke up yesterday with the worst Dad-damn headache I’ve ever had... MORE »
Non-drinkers can finally meet everyone’s ‘judgmental’ expectations by adapting statements from typical college party-goers
After several years’ worth of attending college parties as a non-drinker, I am noticing a concerning trend: we alcohol-free anomalies just are not meeting everyone’s expectations. When we show up to parties, ready to enjoy ourselves without bothering anyone or making a scene, we are a disappointment. Why? Because we are not judging people enough.... MORE »
Ramapo College Cancels Spring Break
Mahwah, New Jersey-In a whirlwind decision, Ramapo College administrators agreed that starting this semester, the college will no longer give students a Spring break. However, in an experimental move that will either garner high praises or arouse copious concerns, Ramapo will being giving all school faculty a Spring break. This includes professors and administrators, as... MORE »
Campus Basement Dean’s List
Check out the latest and greatest from our friends! Whether you’re wondering what kind of shit hungover people say, looking for some awesome party ideas, or trying to validate your choice in music or fast food, this week’s edition of Dean’s List has it all covered! Well, it has all the things I just mentioned,... MORE »
Things to Do on Super Bowl Sunday
Low on plans on today? Here are 7 parties we know will be happening so you can celebrate this year’s most watched television event. The Frat: A guaranteed sausagefest with three bros playing a half-hearted game of beer pong. By the time you arrive, all the wings and chips will be gone. Bring a spoon... MORE »
Combining Halloween Weekend and Parents Weekend was a great idea
When it became incredibly clear that USC was going to make this year’s Parents Weekend and Halloween Weekend one in the same, I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we were all pretty excited by that idea. The scantily clad antics typical to Halloween would undoubtedly be that much more... MORE »
A Very Campus Basement Halloween
Halloween was pretty crazy this year for Campus Basement. From overly revealing costumes to insane frat parties, our writers had plenty to talk about. One thing that wasn’t mentioned: can we agree not to have Halloween on a Monday anymore? It makes it so we have like five Halloweens. And that gets to be too... MORE »
10 Awesome Ways To Get Kicked Out of a Halloween Party
1. Dress up as a character from Mario Kart and convert a large box into a makeshift boxcar to wear. Keep bananas in makeshift boxcar. Throw a banana peel behind you as you walk. Repeat. 2. Wear a Ghost Busters costume and tackle every party guest in a ghost or monster themed costume. Demand compensation... MORE »
Students return to Halloween’s traditional roots by celebrating All Sluts Day instead
Halloween is fast approaching. Parties, costumes, scary movies, candy: all of it adds up to the same excellent October 31st we experience every year. However, Halloween wasn’t always about dressing up in clever outfits, trick-or-treating, and grabbing onto one’s attractive friends during the parts of The Sixth Sense that still scare me. Most people... MORE »